Me, and my Shaaadow!

Stars can't shine without the darkness. ~unknown~ I am currently enrolled in a 5 week course through a terrific site called SouLodge.  In this autumn season the lodge session is focusing on shadow work.  It is a dark, delicious realm of my inner world that has surprisingly opened my heart.  I went into this course thinking it would be a dirty, gutted, heavy journey.  So far, every interaction with my shadow and my darkness has brought me an uplifted-ness and fullness I wasn't expecting.  Although, I guess I am getting what I expected, just in a different expression of it.  I'm dirty with mud of playfulness, I'm gutted in the sense that I want my light to be spilling out from my center at all times, and I am heavy with a nourished soul.

My unexpected reaction to this work has me wondering why shadow work brings me so much happiness?  The shadow isn't shrinking or having more light to take over the darkness.  My shadow is presenting me with so many slaps and punches, and I am giddy when they hit.  I take them in and throw them into my inner cauldron like ingredients to yummy cookies...anxiously drooling in the wait for the end result of warm, chewy goodness.

My mind says: "What is so delicious about getting punched and slapped with my own shit?"

My heart says: "How and Why does the pain/fear/etc, open me?"

My soul says: "It's like finding a kidnapped child... it is a part of you returning home for love and care and safety."

Some of the journeys I've done for my work in SouLodge have brought me some great messages, visuals, and insights.  I would like to share them here.

  • Our darkness, our shadow, is a place for us to recharge and know more of what makes us shine.  It is a place within to gather our purpose, heighten our senses, gain strength, and to FEEL deeper.  Cultural conditioning, wounds, traumas, etc. can project our shadow as a predator which instills fear, but the shadow is NOT to be feared. It is not a predator, the ego and the need to be right are predators.
  • My shadow is the night time, my unwounded wild Self is the day time.  Reflection: each time cycle has its purpose in our outer world, and the same goes for the inner world.  Let the day time shine life giving light, let the night time radiate it's mystery. Together they are in perfect harmony.  Not allowing the shadow to live it's portion of the time cycle creates the imbalance the ego needs to project a predator into the psyche.
  • Shadow is sacred.  My shadow is full and nourished, I listen to it very well, I embrace it openly.  What is getting in my way is the egoic mind chatter of wounded-ness.  The egoic fear that puts up unnecessary walls.  The egoic search for meaning and approval outside of myself.
  • My shadow is the inner healer for my egoic wounds.  My true self is the inner healer for my heart.  And my soul is the inner world landscape where all of this resides.

Shadow work is sacred soul work to clean up the egoic trash that litters the pristine forest of my inner world.  For all the slaps and punches I'm taking right now from my shadow, I am deeply grateful for the pain, the learning, the wisdom, the growth, and the healing.

For more on these SouLodge sessions, go to www.soulodge.com

For more on my work in the realm of empowerment, go to www.inquirewithin.me

Blessings of shadow whispering truth to you, and the healing it is always doing on the ego! And so it is!

Creative High

I read somewhere once that activity inspires creativity.  In a culture where inactivity is an emerging dominance, I find this concept a true medicine for our cultural and personal lethargy.  So, I have been exploring and implementing this "activity inspires creativity" for a couple of months now, really playing with many possible applications to my daily life. First of all, let me just say how fun it is on a creative high!  Around my home, I've been using a term I've coined "creative crack" due to its incredible energy boost and out-of-my-mind goofiness.  Immersed in the flow of a creative high there is an uprising of living with excitement, wonderment and purpose.  The language of the Self and inner truth is understood without a translator and the message comes clearly with direction as well as the energy to move in that direction.

In the physical body, it feels amazing.  Aches and pains go away, workouts are focused and intense, laughter comes easily and often.  The creative high radiates from the core of the Self, the place of who you are, and expands beyond what you know as the body.  It's like feeling super huge, impossible to hurt, sure of path, and fearless to the possibilities.

When the "creative crack" and I were first dating, all of this awesomeness was an everyday occurrence and it is incredible how much I got done.  Time was this enigma that worked around me and my purpose instead of me working my purpose within the rigid line of time.  Time and "creative crack" are passionate lovers whose embrace and intimacy when breathed in conceive an entire world where purpose and life's meaning make sense and are concrete.  In the newness of our courtship "creative crack" and I planned our year, we began new projects, brainstormed and story-boarded future direction and ideas, (ahhhh) we were close and taking my world by storm.

As with any relationship, the newness wears off and in this relationship my ex (the mind chatter) began stalking me and poor "creative crack" had competition for my attention.  It started out small, with maybe a day or two here and there with a disconnect from my love affair.  Then life happens.  A misdirection of focus here to help a friend out, a distraction there to deal with a negative emotion...and one day you wake up missing the love of your life and wondering why you aren't talking and why are you sleeping in separate beds! (metaphoric fun-time)

The cool thing about having all these relationships with, and within your Self is that you can fix them upon awareness of the problem because we can only fix or change ourselves.  So I made a date with "creative crack" to talk and determine where this relationship was going.  "Creative crack" was thrilled to have my attention again and we are working on our communication.  We have committed to connecting each day to maintain our relationship and a date night at least once a week to solidify our manifesting.  "Creative crack" isn't jealous of mind chatter, instead told me to listen and heed the commentary from both.  All the direction my purpose, my work, my healing goes in is still up to me.  Well the best way to my heart is to give me the freedom to choose, so "creative crack" had me with that.  I took this advice and have adjusted my workshops, my CD releases, and feel really good about where I'm going.  The surety that "creative crack" offers, mixed with the logic of mind chatter, and the freedom for me to choose with my spirit make for a great threesome.  We are now living happily together in this world of creation, manifestation, and success.

As "creative crack" and I are working on renewing our connection, I do the silliest things.  I color, I make collages, I drop and crank out some Yoga poses to get my energy up when I feel depressed or stuck, I try new recipes, walk or hike,  re-draw my garden plans, dance, tickle my daughter and play with my furry babies.

ACTIVITY INSPIRES CREATIVITY.

I experienced that this is a truth for me.  In the process of rebuilding my connection to creativity I have to be aware of when I'm giving it the silent treatment and through activity I open my body, my mind, and my heart to hearing that language of my Self.  When I am listening to the message that inner language brings, my path is clear.  When I am in good relationship to my creativity, I have the energy to manifest my ideas and time seems to bow to me.   (insert pseudo-evil chuckle for fun)

It's about getting out of our own way, and doing what we need to do to make that happen.  This is something we will do our whole lives and that is not a bad thing.  When we get in our own way it gives us a chance to look at it and ask if this is something we really want.  I say enjoy each moment of self reflection, self realization, healing and being more of who you are. Get active, inspire creativity, dare to howl, and go forward into the direction of your dreams.

HHHOOOWWWLLL!

Through private Shamanic healing sessions, I offer energy medicine and guidance to ownership of your power.  Should you come across a time or situation that you may need assistance with, I am honored to be of help. You can learn more about my services at www.inquirewithin.me or email me at inquirewithin.me@gmail.com