Diggin' deep

The life cycle has 3 parts: life, death, and rebirth.  Nature puts on the most spectacular showing of this within the time frame of the four seasons.  We are a part of nature and not exempt from experiencing those 3 expressions of life.  As humans we also have the added ingredients of the soul element and the intellect element to enrich how we engage and utilize the life within us, the death within us, and the rebirth within us. Being that it is Fall, Autumn time, we are in the death portion of the life cycle.  We see it everywhere...in the trees loosing their leaves, in the representations of death played out in Halloween decorations and costumes, and in the sport of hunting season. The wisdom of the Nature's wilderness reminds me to scan at the inner landscape for energies that are fading .  It also reminds me that death and dying to something is crucial to creating something new later on.  One has to make space for rebirth, regeneration, renewal.  One has to release and remove all the dried up thought forms, toxic trash of criticism, and untrue masks that are no longer useful.  For one reason or another they have been useful and have done good in the path we call life.  And for one reason or another, their life force has waned and the remains just clog up the connection to the inner world, which usually blocks the volume of one's soul voice.  In my work, I have found that the reasons are not as important as doing something about them.

With the dying process of nature is so obvious and present right now that, as an energetic being, I am feeling the pull from my inner world to look at what is dying within me.  I find this place within the life cycle exciting, a bit scary, and highly attractive due to the concept of opposites attract.  Birth and death being opposites.  As a mother, I can proudly say having a homebirth was a power and an emotion that there are no words for.  And it is such a brief moment to have.  As a huntress, I can also tell you that when I have pulled the trigger on an Elk and I am there to witness and support her in her last breath, the emotions and the power of that moment are experienced at the same depth that giving birth was.  The moments are opposites in that it is life and death, but the level of feeling is the same.  One is sadness, one is joy.  Sort of, but not really.  Joy and sadness are the easiest examples to give you an idea of emotions and power that words cannot express. And isn't it interesting that the only time I feel the depth I felt in giving birth is when I am taking life?

Okay, back to the "what is dying within my inner world".  For me, this year, I am having a death and dying to this mask of perfectionism with a critics' voice.  I am having a death and dying to my heart being closed and vulnerable.  I am having a death and dying to craving outside approval from others.  And interestingly, these things that are dying are in a similar genre of soul issues I've let die before.  They aren't carbon copies, just a similar life force.  Now, thankfully, that perfectionist mask is dying...because if it was in full life force I'd be beating myself up for having to deal with this shit again.  But with it's waning life inside my soul, I am feeling full of compassion for my process and creative energy filling the space between death and rebirth. (more on this in a future post)

Also, interestingly enough, the opposite side of what is dying seems to be the anti-dote.  Under the perfectionist with a critic's voice is a seed of mastering the moment by doing her best.  While being happy with the progress and having fun doing it!  I received the message that if you aren't having fun, you are on the wrong path!  I also received the message that creating, being creative, activity is the first step in getting to fun.  I am reminded of an earlier received message; that to fully create the BEing and the DOing must be the same thing.

Under the closed and vulnerable heart is an unwoundable open heart that has infinite supply of energy; and because it never shuts or closes, any perceived wound or pain is instantly filled with heart power...therefore instantly fades away...making me  immune to negative forces.  Having this perspective pop up to heal my closed heart felt like such irony.  Wouldn't the first reaction be to build stronger, bigger walls to protect?  Wouldn't it make sense to beef up security?  Well, apparently not when it comes to the heart. I'm discovering that the heart has more potential and strength than it gets credit for.  And if this is true, then what part of us really gets wounded and feels pain?  Our ego? The thoughts or analysis of a situation being unfulfilled and unworthy?  I feel there will more on this later too as I become more of and unwoundable open heart and have experience in that state. But for now, I am in the moment, mastering my transformation, healing, and empowerment.

Under the craving outside approval from others is still an open, fertile ground that I haven't yet found the healing seed to plant.  In fact, the illusion isn't quite dead yet. Of course, all of these subjects are interdependent on each other, but this approval trap needs a bit more excavating to reach that fertile soil.  Boy, I look forward to all the pieces clicking together and becoming a new landscape for me to create within myself.  And I am doing my best at mastering each moment of digging.  I am wondering...why this one needs so much digging?  What other energy is feeding this thought form?  Culture? Lineage? Ego? I sense a wound...digging deep.

I just love this work.  I love working my own soul and empowerment through healing.  I love guiding and facilitating space for others to heal and empower.  And I love that the outside nature and the inside nature hold the same beautiful life cycles to be surrendered to and utilized with intention to become more of who we are.  As above, so below. As within, so without.  Opposites attract.  Life and death.

I hope this inspires you to turn within and tend to your inner wilderness.  What is one thought form of yours you notice needs to die?  How can  you honor the good it's done for you while assisting it to pass on and create space inside you? As always, I am available for private sessions both in person and distance.  We are all working on something, and you don't have to do it alone.  There is power in support.