Wild, Free, and Lovin' It.

horsejunipers Today's post was started back in September 2013. I've been nursing the wounds of belonging. So, with a shaky voice I'm done nursing...I belong in my bones.

I'm grateful for my country, hillbilly, farmin', huntin'-fishin'-muddin'-loggin' upbringing.  It showed me that the love of nature doesn't look like a national park advertisement.  I learned that to love nature means you have to BE a part of nature...being the hunted as well as the hunter. I learned that nature isn't a manicured trail that everyone walks on. I have experienced it bloody, bruised, held, soul fed, heart breaking and heart filling.   I'm grateful that I have seen how policy destroys nature but those who love nature choose nature stewardship over selling out for income somewhere else. The country life gave me my rebel medicine. Perseverance...survival...bad assery...slamming on the brakes to watch a deer, an elk, an eagle; regardless of who you may piss off behind you. The this "backwoods" culture, when the wild things show themselves to you, you stop and connect.

I'm grateful for my city exploration of life.  The intense amazement that humans can create massive structures.  The artistic creativity floating around like an airborne virus, just aching to find a host walking by that will say..."yes, I'll give you life".  It thrills me to feel how the creative energy of one fuels the creative energy of another. My soul soars to witness people give up so much to pour their every cell into their craft...into their inspirations. The city life helped me see and love people because there is so much variety to see and love. Perseverance...survival...bad assery...fierce commitment to passion.

I've been held in Christianity, Hinduism, Yoga spirituality, Witchraft, Shamanism, Buddhism, Reiki.  And there is beauty in all of these to me, I have learned so many skills and concepts. They all have a medicine and a poison to me though. The poison comes from living in the box the label is attached to. The medicine comes from broadening my perspective, which broadens the landscape of my wild inner world that I call my soul.  More landscape? More room to roam!!!

To me, labels are lassos; boxes are the corrals. Eck, just thinking this makes me want to run.

wild-horse-running

The heart breaking thing is that all sides are uncomfortable around me being who I am because I contain within me a part of something that stirs their pot.  I feel their discomfort and it hurts me.  I feel this subtle need from them to somehow reconfigure me into a version of myself they can accept and handle.  My truth about this is...I get it, I understand...and it still hurts.

Today, I'm grateful that I don't have to exist in one corral or the other.  I'm grateful that every time I've been roped by a one group or the other I have somehow managed to shake the lasso off my neck before getting locked in and tied up. Intuitively bolting from the wranglers of righteousness to run wild and free yet again. I am meant to be a free range soul.  I want to migrate, learn, explore, and take a chance on my intuition.

I'm grateful that I can stand where I stand within myself and not have to claim "a side".  I see how those in one corral like to think their corral is right...it's the corral to be in, so they slander the corral across the way.  Saying how that corral has it all wrong and they are the reason for everything going wrong in their corral.  I see how the corral across the way thinks their corral is the right one to be in and believes that the other corral is the reason for everything going wrong with their corral.  See the pattern?  Back and forth...then another corral is built and filled and those first two corrals start finding ways to blame the new corral for the problems they have in their corrals.

I see that the problem is as simple as staying contained in any corral.  It's not humane, compassionate or progressive to surrender to the corral your in while blaming other corrals for why yours isn't what you want.  Jump a fence, kick down a post, knock down the fuckers that open and close the gate. RUN!  Scary, right? Where do you go? How will you survive?  What if you are alone?

WildBrownHorse

I have no real concrete point or ra-ra uplifting inspiration.  My heart is simply ready to tell it like it has been for me.  And I'm grateful that the heart ache allows me love both sides from my corral-free vantage point.  My deepest desire is for all corrals to let the other corrals live in their corrals in their own way and support the differences, instead of judging-mud slinging-and blame.  We could all be freed.  Regardless, I can't change those wranglers, nor those corrals. I can only act for myself. The action I choose is to be me, wild and free; roaming the soul land to accept myself so wholly that I can accept others I find along my life.  Corralled or not.

This last weekend I encountered some kindred spirits in this matter and it was just what this wild woman needed.  (more on this later...trust me, it's gooooood)

Feel free to share, post, or comment. Blessed be.

Like this blog post? Subscribe to get more in your email, and get event dates and offerings, AND watch my website take form as I get it built.  Oh, exciting stuff.....

PS....funny thing I stumbled on last week, in Celtic astrology, I'm a horse!  hahahahaha  Perfect.

 

So...why do I need permission?

Ask for the weird and impossible~Danielle LaPorte #desiremap

I heard her say this on a podcast today and it has stopped me in my tracks. I have SO many weird and impossible things I want to CREATE in my life, and having her say this makes me feel like I have permission. Really? I needed permisssion....please. Look out dreams, I'm coming for you. I'm asking for you. I'm asking for you to say  YES to these Wild Inner World oracle cards,and ebooks, and E-courses! I'm asking for you to be born and have a life of your own that I can nurture and love and grow with. I'm asking to feel sexy, joy, and magical. I'm asking to have my soul craft circles grow and multiply, because I already see the magic in them. I'm asking myself to say YES back to these dreams.

So...why do I need permission?

What makes me think I can do it all by my self? Why is it so hard to ask for help? And trust?

I'm a smidge annoyed with myself that I these lil' questions are of my own resistance standing in my own way of what is a simple (not easy) concoction of human awesomeness! Is there a quick fix? Maybe. I'm sure I could force myself to think a more positive thought or feel a more positive feeling and ignore this permission needing, stubbornly independent resistance for the little bugger.  But ya know what? These qualities have merit too and I want to explore the concept of moving forward, past this wall with the beneficial qualities of needing permission and being stubbornly independent. And I feel like for me to do that I need to give these obstacle builders some space to self reflect on how they can go with me through this resistance and be helpful during the process.  Oh, yeah....this is new and different and exciting.

Need for permission: where it may create a huge "holding back" energy in my life, it also keeps my focus in check. If I never needed permission to make one choice or the other I would really walk my shit all over the place. And this doesn't feel like happy-making in my heart.  I need this permission needing mechanism to help feel out which is the right choice. What makes this poison for me is when I am seeking the permission outside myself in other people, community structures, and other traps humans create. What makes this medicine for me is when I'm asking my soul purpose for permission to go one way or another, take that class or another, create this product or another. Yeah...this feels so much lighter and spacious to me.  It's like positive reinforcing the qualities I want to use from this mechanism. And it already feels so much more positive and motivating, and I don't feel like I had to cut out a part of myself.  It reminds me of how I try to parent. I see my daughters "problems", I acknowledge they are there and am aware of them. But I choose to tell her every day what is powerful, beautiful, and amazing about her. She is more of the stuff I positively reinforce than she is the stuff that can be destructive. Yeah, I'm diggin' this idea.

And I'm gonna keep diggin' on this for while, then move on to the stubbornly independent piece. I need some more time in this permission piece. I'll keep you posted.

In the meantime; did this pull a trigger for you? Do you like this? Do you disagree? All voices welcome to be just one part of a greater conversation that is the conversation of discovering your own truth, path, and purpose. Please forward, share, like, and comment if you have the impulse to connect to this.

Is there a wall/obstacle/resistance in your life that could use some wholistic looking at and seen for it's positive qualities? My wish is that in my vulnerable authenticity, it gives YOU permission to be that as well.

Dig deep. Own up. Be true to you.

Let the mind think. Let the heart feel. Let the soul choose.

Blessed be! Nissa

The Medicine of Questioning

What if every person was in their own authentic bubble, absolutely loving who they are and filling up their own space? Would the need to change others or feed off of others be gone? I believe I can only change myself, so naturally I need to look at my own bubble. I found it torn and leaking out all the amazing feeling of being me. And what do soul crafters do when they find something out of wholeness? We dig deep, own up, let go, and keep moving from the wild within... I have been healing wounds this year of not being accepted an appreciated for who I am.  I've been feeling so tossed around by the chasing of being accepted and loved in this life that I finally reached the blessed rock bottom (yes, I said BLESSED).  From the bottom, I heard that potent mirror inquiry of  "others not accepting and loving me for all of me is a reflection of something playing out within my wild inner world". This faces me front and center to the uncomfortable nudge that I am not accepting and loving all the faces of me. For, really, if I'm not accepting myself then I'm not bringing into my life others that will too. With this smack-up-side-the-head I grabbed my journal and went deeper.

This is what flowed:

What is the desire/drive/need behind wanting to change how others think, feel, believe, and choose?  What personal wound or trauma holds one in a place of needing to control others?  What positive movement is gained by only accepting those that only fit into one person's comfort zone?  Isn't this universe big enough for all to be supported?  Who's to say that what you disagree with isn't part of the evolution of humanity and it is necessary to the bigger picture that you aren't able to see?  And isn't it your choice in the moment to either grab onto the judgment line that leads to control and separation and dis-ease in life...or grab onto the possibility that there are no answers because there are too many answers...the possibility of what you dislike is actually a universal balancing that creates a wholeness to everything...the possibility that disagreeing too much with something brings you closer to becoming a version of it...the possibility that supporting every possibility without labeling or judging it will bring about the change and acceptance that every "group" claims they want.  Sure, the uncomfortable part of this is "can you actually DO this...in those every day moments?".  Can you have the awareness of the present WHILE knowing who you are well enough to support the other side?  Are you spending enough time talking to yourself and knowing who you are NOW....this week....this month...etc.?  How do you know what you agree with or disagree with, and does it really matter?  What happens when you know what is true?  How do you expect others to conform to your truth?  Why do you easily conform to others when you know it slows you down?

I mean...ummm...okay...yep, all good questions.  I find that taking a swim in a barrage of questions can lead to the freedom of not needing the answers.  Then, I can relax...surrender to the river and enjoy the down-stream floating of my life. Man, that feels good. To leisurely enjoy my life and savor every scent, sight, smell, and splash.

I am grateful for these senses.

How to stop the stories...

Know how you feel. Give voice to what you feel, then shut up and flow with it. Not too long ago I was in an journey with the intention to get some guidance in my life.  I was shown that it is not often that I just say how I feel.  More often I tell the story of what is around how I feel and use the emotion as an exclamation point.  I was shown how this actually perpetuates any negativity to my emotion and...

REPEATING THE STORY STOPS THE STORY FROM EVOLVING INTO WISDOM.

I was shown that how I feel...my emotions...are huge bundles of energy and power.  Mostly power.  They move, they shake, they spring into action, they cradle and hold, they are magnificent keys to my energetic freedom.  Then I was shown that when the emotions are simply stated without a supporting story, the emotion is free to evolve into wisdom .  That giving the emotion voice, gives that emotion fluid truth. And the second I begin to add reasons, justifications, and story to it, the emotion becomes an attached block.  And when emotions are blocked they cause damage to the soul, body and mind.  When emotions are fluid, they flow through quickly without damaging the soul, body, and mind.

FOR EXAMPLE...

"I am having anger about this".  Notice the wording here. Having anger denotes a temporary experience of it.  Let's say your partner has done something that just pissed you off.  Declaring your emotion for it and sitting in the space of your emotion without a story around it allows you to feel it fully and authentically.  And then it will move on...move through you completely...and you can approach the solution clearly, calmly and with freedom of spirit.  Now, if you plan to try this practice on for yourself...I suggest you tell your partner what you are up to so you both have the space to be different.

Now, lets take the same pissed-off-ness in the same situation and it goes like this: "How could you? What were you thinking? This is the kind of shit that_________________. I am so mad at you! etc..." What happens here is the questions build a story around the thing.  The questions also create more problems and negative energy.  It engages the other person to create their version of the story...making the story twice as powerful and energetically charged.

Back down again.  Here it is in bullet points...I love bullet points

  • give your emotion a voice...example:"I feel sad"
  • shut the mouth and mind trap for awhile and feel the full purity of said emotion....maybe a time out, or some journaling?
  • when the emotion has flowed through, ask your Self "what do I want out of this"
  • then go from there by acting on the wanting.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO JUSTIFY YOUR FEELINGS.

We have every right to feel what we feel...to let those emotions have fluid power and truth.  And those around us have every right to feel what they feel.  So, as you give yourself freedom from the story, support others in attaining their freedom of the their stories.

WE MAY FIND A WHOLE NEW DIMENSION TO LISTENING.

I've been using this since it was gifted to me in that journey and it has been a huge asset in the whole being "unscripted" thing.  And the listening thing is transforming as well.  I ask a lot let questions.  Say less of the shit that doesn't matter.  And finding adventure in the uncomfortable silences.

What do you feel about this?

Back to Reflection

My last post about perception and reflection was derailed by my own awareness of Self, which needed to be honored and heard; my wish is that this gave you a map or template from which to monitor your own stuff and turn it into something useful and good.  So, today I would like to re-rail this topic and dive into using it as a soul crafting tool.  You may (or may not) remember that it all started with this quote:

Your perception of me is a reflection of you. My reaction to you is an awareness of me.~askcoachbobbi.com

The first sentence of this was one of those light-switch moments of freedom from outside judgements and projections.  I notice that turning this idea into action keeps the weight of these outside influences out of my energy fields. And it keeps them out by the reflection aspect behaving like a repellant.  It sends the outside judgement back to the sender.  I also noticed that in this state of energetic freedom I am able to hear the other person better, not take their judgments personally, and hold my own strong center in dealing with them.  Holding a strong center for me is key to speaking my truth.  If I'm not in the center of my inner world, my truth is subject to the lies of others' illusions.  This can come in handy in SO many inter-personal relationships.  How many times have you taken on someone else's judgment of yourself and let that self-talk take you down a road that isn't even yours?  Have you ever taken to heart something your partner said about you as a truth, but in fact is their own wounds and triggers using perception of others to have a voice?  I know I sure have. This action of reflection also keeps the lines of energy clean and true.  What is yours is yours, and what is mine is mine.

This whole "perception is a reflection of you" thing bit me in the ass big time with my hubby.  I was being really critical of him one day, saying horrible and stupid things; when it hit me that my perception of him is a reflection of me.  The stuff I was saying to him was actually things that I do, and don't do.  I had to stop, process, apologize and forgive myself.  (gulp)  Then I had to speak my truth of it, I am the one who always..... I am the one who doesn't consider.... and so on. Pride took a hard fall that day, but I really experienced the power of this perception/reflection tool, and the responsibility of using it as well. 

Be careful to not judge others for judging you...judging others for judging you is simply perceiving them as a reflection of you. 

See, it's not balanced and right to think that you are never the problem...that it is always someone else's stuff influencing you.  I am realizing that the "return to sender" reflection is the first step; it keeps the energy boundaries clean between people (remember: what is theirs is theirs; what is mine is mine).  But then I'm noticing that within the the individual energy field, you must check in with what small aspect of you is the mirror of which the outside perception was reflecting.  This is where my Inquire Within magic really gets things poppin' and brings to life step 2. You have to look at that mirror within which triggered the outside perception; why is it there?  Is it still necessary for who you are?  Does it give you the material you need to soul craft?  Is it true?  Was it ever?  Does it need to be healed and released?  Does it need to be fed, nourished, and have a voice?  I think that conflict, criticism, or anything comes to you for a reason.  Which is why I love being able to hand back to the outside world what isn't mine; stay observant of my own inner world free and clear as to what I need to do to craft my soul...and my life...and who I am.

now, after those two steps.....

The second sentence of this quote is where the juicy empowerment begins to shine in the dark.  Choosing a {reaction/non-reaction/opinion/etc,} that is a truth from the awareness you gained by inquiring within to the inner mirror.  Action always brings empowerment to life.  You must actively choose from your awareness of your self. 

Now, let's put it all together....
  • Someone criticizes you for something you do. (their perception coming your way)
  • You notice it coming at you. You may feel nervous, angry, invaded, hurt, etc.  This is your indicator to "return to sender" by remembering that this is a reflection of themselves.  (be careful to not label what that is for them...that is theirs) 
  • In the clean, free, and clear space of your own stuff you look at the backside of that mirror they were looking at when they perceived you.  Something in you triggered them, what is it?  Is it necessary? Does it need fed or released? Could this criticism be true on some level, and could it be something worth looking at and using?
  • So, now you can see the criticism from your own eyes and not the eyes of the outside perception which is chalked full of someone else's wounds or ignorance's.  From your own perception of this reflection, you can choose what is true for you and how to react from an authentic place with a powerful voice.

Ahh, that just feels good.  Bringing it all back to the inner world just brings me to a solid, powerful, peaceful point of view.  I hope it does for you too.  If so, I challenge you to work this process next time you feel an outside perception of you being reflected, then let me know!  I'd love to hear from your experiences on the comment section of this post.

 

Nissa Howard is a soul crafter, writer, wild woman intuitive and the owner of Inquire Within; a sacred space of awakening, healing, digging deep, and discovering your truth.  She offers energy medicine and empowerment coaching using Shamanic healing techniques and intuitive reflection.  By providing sacred space to facilitate healing, workshops, growth, and discovering inner truth, she is a guide and technician into the wilderness of the inner world, where who you are is waiting to be discovered and where soul crafting takes root. Her goal is to empower others to empower themselves. The mind thinks, the heart feel, let the soul choose. Contact her today to schedule and appointment or register for a playshop. www.inquirewithin.me

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sneak peak into my own shit!

Your perception of me is a reflection of you. My reaction to you is an awareness of me.~askcoachbobbi.com I love this quote.  I have this quote on my fridge.  I have used this quote as advice and as medicine.  I have had this quote bite me in the ass with my hubby when I realized my perception of him was a reflection of me.  (yep, that one stung a bit).  This quote has been an ah-ha game changer in my Self as it has freed me to not take things personally.  Or I should say it gave me the affirmational voice in my head to focus on when I began to take something personally.  This may not be the only time I write about this quote as I have found it applies to many topics.

Lately I've been mucking through this topic of "taking a day off".  It's a hot one right now in my life since I've been hearing it from so many people.  From people I love and I know love me and I feel that they have valid concern, as I have been working an ass ton....and I love it!  Truth be told, I find gettin' 'er done and working on building this career of mine a creative outlet.  When I'm in a creative flow I am inspired, excited, learning, growing, challenging myself, and feel like I have purpose.  It's hard to just walk away from all that feel-good momentum.  Plus, building a career, writing a book, self-marketing, yada-yada-yada takes work, focus, and sacrifice of time.  Whoa, kinda sounds like I'm trying to justify it...doesn't it?  Well, instead of backspacing and deleting that last sentence (in bold), I can use this as a teachable moment. Here's the lesson kids: when you have an awareness of yourself not speaking your truth, then you must STOP, ask yourself "who", "what", "how".

Who am I trying to convince?  "the exhausted part of me that is tired and running on empty.  I feel this in my mind and it's thinking tank is getting low...it's thunk way too much, for too long with and needs refueling."

What is really true for me? "to take some worries and fears off the table.  I can feel these taking up the thinking reserves that I want to have for my work. Everything before that bold sentence is true for me and to keep it true I must have fuel to let it continue living true for me"

How do I bring this into my truth? "first; locate, identify, and heal the heart of the worries and fear. Second; schedule some time off!"

Funny, this is not how I thought this post would go, however, a teachable moment is hard to pass up.  And my desire is that you are inspired to use this example to benefit you too!  I am chuckling at the irony of it all.  So...what just happened here?  I caught myself delivering a sentence that didn't flow as truth to my Self.  And instead of pretending it didn't happen, I used the STOP; who, what, how, truth exploration tool.  In doing so, I can see and acknowledge that I do in fact need rest and bring some of my energy resources into a full and balanced state.  I already feel less buzzing in my mind, I feel more relaxed, and I feel more deserving of the time of.  All because I took the few moments necessary to look at what is true to my Self.  Wow, this never gets old or less amazing.  Instant relief, different perspective, and the answers to my questions have given me a map of what I need to work on.  Looks like I'll be doing some energy medicine on myself this week!  I need to see what wound or imbalance is using worry and fear to take up my thinking energy...and why it has decided to present itself now.  Then I will heal it from there.  I'm thinking a dose of extraction followed by thought form/belief re-programming; a dash of power filling, and a topping of soul retrieval and I will get this tank full again.

To honor this process and the reflected answers to the "who, what, how" part one of the "how" answer is to do some energy medicine on those worries and fear (have that scheduled for myself on Thursday). Secondly, I have looked at my calendar and have found a weekend in June that I will take as my "time off".  I plan on hitting the road with my mattress in the truck bed, my food, my camping supplies and my laptop for writing.  I want to hit some campgrounds.  Hike, write, and eat.  (my version of eat, pray, love)  And for anyone who is thinking that writing is still working...well, is that your perception of me.....?

Since my original thought topic has been derailed by that sentence of non-truth, let's put this train back on the track for the next post. It is not lost on me that I began discussing a day off which indicates self-care, and I have ended up writing about how to take care of the Self in the moment. HAHA.  Seriously, this is too much fun.

Till next time..

Who gets to create? You do!!!!

I am stirring a cauldron of questions and curiosity and wonder.  Who dictates what gets created and by whom?  Why is there fear, resistance, insecurity, and doubt of worth when it comes to creating something new?  If humans are creator beings as we create with our thoughts, feelings, actions, and choices; then birthing something of your own voice and truth isn't shitting on the ones that came before you.  Right?  Look at the history of things and the how things evolve.  Where would the iPad be if there wasn't some universal permission to take something and tweek it into something else. (A-HA!) That is chemistry, that is alchemy, that is magic in essence!  Therefore, isn't it magical to life a live of creating that which comes from your soul, even if it is inspired by others?  Now, of course I'm not talking plagiarism or flat our copyright infringement.  I'm questioning the heaviness that is felt when you are seen as less than because you are doing something different that your clan, your teachers, your mentors, your elders.  I am also questioning the heaviness that is felt when you are seen as less than because you evolve a concept because it is what rings true for you.  And because it rings true for you, your belly lights on fire and you want to share this new way with others.  The grounded wild woman in me now brings into mind the cycle of life here, and the reflection of being open and encouraging of evolution of the newly born concept or item as it is being shared or taught.  Common sense reminds me that if you want to own the freedom to create, you must also give the freedom to create. When you learn something or apprentice to something, there are always those who come before you.  Their teachings, wisdom, and guidance is important and precious.  They should always be honored and credited for what they bring you.  But what if you take the teachings as inspiration and not law?  What could or would you create?  Is the heaviness mentioned earlier from them, from you, or from a rigid cultural paradigm that stems from fear?  I sense that the fear comes from a place of not wanting to forget where we came from, not wanting to loose parts of historic lessons. I can't help thinking that by honoring what was taught in tandem with what is being created from your soul, the solution is alive.  Bringing respect and gratitude to those that come before, and letting the new stuff radiate out of you...like there is a choice when the soul wakes up and says "I've got this thing to make happen!!!"

I've always been a bit of an outsider, wanting to fit in, but never really fully fitting in.  On the left of me, I'm to right for them.  On the right of me, I'm to left for them; and so on.  So, for me, I find it natural to just do stuff my way after a bit.  Then there is that "wanting to belong" nudge, that is accompanied by the "I want to learn something new" nudge, and those two elements attract great growth in exactly the right places.  For several years I've been studying core Shamanic healing through the LightSong School of Shamanic Studies.  Jan Engels-Smith is the founder of this school and it's amazing community of people.  There is not language yet for the gratitude I have for this community in my life.  It's like a soul family.  There are mirrors, cheerleaders, helpers, mentors, opportunities, and so much more.  I've had the pleasure of learning so much about core Shamanism, the healing crafts, and leadership.  This is the place I learned how to Shamanic journey, and from this skill my soul took inspiration from it, not law.

I remember my 1st and 2nd level classes.  We were supposed to get a power song.  I couldn't get one, I tried to force one or fake one to feel like I was "doing it right", but it just didn't come.  I reverted to my magical background and wove it into the lesson of filling with personal power.  In every journey there is a sense of going "out" into non-ordinary reality...and I did...but I found myself not complete with it.  So, the day after every class I would take my notes and redo the journeys at home.  I found that to feel complete with the journey, they were a sense of going "inward".  And they had a much different feel than the journeys I was being taught.  By the time I got toward the end of my 2nd level class, I allowed the inner or outer journney to happen...depending on the intention.  I just surrendered to trusting the process and let the world within unfold and grow.

The concept and practice of the Inner World has been one I've been teaching and soul crafting for a couple years now.  And from this place, the Inner World journey has been birthing itself as my own process of journeying.  It's ancestor is the Shamanic journey.  Its spirit carries shadows of the foundation brought to us by ancient ones.  It holds the elements and directions closely to it's heart.  It has it's own voice and process, and brings a unity of the other worlds into the universe of the soul.  It brings all elements into one world.  I've been doing this process of Inner World journey for several years now, and it only recently occurred to me to watch what I do and how I do it.  Holy ass smacks, it was cool!  It all unfolded so clearly that this is another way to journey, and from that moment on it has had a momentum and voice of it's own creating.  It wants to be shared, taught, explored and evolved.  So, I am listening, trusting and lifting the heaviness.  I am taking that leap by teaching this form of journeying along side the teaching of core Shamanic journey.  I have had clients express interest in learning how to journey, so I have put together a playshop on February 9th to do just that.  I will honor my roots and spread my wings as I open my heart for my soul's work to ooze out.

What does your soul want to create?

If you are interested in this playshop,  you can find it on my Facebook events page at www.facebook.com/inquirewithin.me OR on my website www.inquirewithin.me.  Next time you'll hear from me will be the first of February with your Inquire Within Monthly!  Have fun digging within, creating from soul, and dancing while you do it!

Cold Reflection

Last night, I sat outside watching the sun go down.  The sky was clear, the air cold, and my heart warmed by the depth of color painted across the horizon.  I found myself diving into the feeling of how beautiful life is.  That amongst the tension between left and right, and the global power struggle for who is the rightest of them all, there is peace and beauty in the moments that are connected to feeling my experience of nature.  And that in these moments I am free, I am whole, I am me without judgement or agenda. The strokes of orange-red, pink, and blue radiated vibrant joy in it's descent from my place on Earth.  The oak trees stood skeletal as they came alive with dark shadowing.  I could feel them pulled inside themselves, nestled into their root systems.  It reminded me to do the same...this is after all, the month of coldness and retreat and rest.  It's the time to eat less, rest more, embrace silence, explore solitude, and recharge every layer.  I am never bored or in lack of awe at the wisdom and guidance we gain from nature.  And when I slow down enough to hear her language, I am transported to the place within me that is the same power and wisdom of her.  For these moments, I am one with nature; a reflection of nature. And nature is a reflection of me.

I invite you to step into your breath and slow your pace.  What can you hear from nature?  What message is waiting for you?

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Who I am is what I do. I inquire within, heal, and craft my soul.  I offer energy medicine and empowerment coaching using Shamanic healing techniques and intuitive reflection.  I provide a sacred space to facilitate healing, workshops, growth, and discover your truth.  Contact me to schedule your guided journey to the wilderness of the inner world, where healing and who you are is waiting to be discovered!
Nissa Howard- Shamanic energy medicine, Soul crafter and wild woman.
 

Death Ceremony

~This post was actually not gonna come out until next Tuesday, but I feel a big push to post it now.  Mostly for my sisters in the SouLodge.  As we sit in the West together there has been much death and dying and release...so girls...this one is coming out early, just for you!~ For the better part of this year, I have felt a pull to create ceremony, ritual, passage.  I have many ideas swirling in my soul and one has finally birthed itself!  The inspiration has been a death ceremony as a way to lay to rest the you that you don't want to be anymore...the you that is no longer playing a positive role in creating a life you love...the you that has been on it's way out for a while but the ego is holding on to it.

A fortunate, unfortunate situation has popped up within the last month.  My dearest friend from Jr. High found herself in a place that really needed a death ceremony.  And true to the laws of the creating, timing is a big player in how and when your purpose is created.  As soon as my BFF entered this situation the download of details for this ceremony flooded in over a span of several days.  Excitement and power of transformation was bouncing my insides all over my outsides and I just knew this death ceremony had to be done, and has to be done more in the world.

She traveled to me for a time frame of several days, which now I am calling this time "soul rehab".   The first day produced healing on many levels.  We did extractions, spirit release, and soul retrieval.  Day two she accompanied me to a Yoga class I teach and that was a time to seal in the work from day one.  Later that night on day two,  the death ceremony was building and ready to GO!  So we entered my healing room and began.

We layed out two strips of butcher paper and taped them together.  As she lay on the sheet I asked if she had any last words to this skin and Self she was letting die.  She did, and with a true voice, declared her intention and gratitude....beautiful!  I began creating an energetic "coffin" around her as she imprinted her old Self into the paper, into the coffin.  I drew an outline of her form and she emerged for the next step.

With art supplies handy, the work began.  Locating a main source of suffering on the paper body, names and colors and art flowed out of her onto the paper self.  All the anger and pain and wounds boiling the blood and moving the energy OUT.  I began a wailing into the that spot, she followed with two, and that part was at peace and clean.  She powerfully and organically moved into other body parts, and letting those pains and programs have a true expression without judgment or blame.  Simple movement out of her and into the paper old Self.  Flowing gracefully she moved through the whole body...calling out demons, shutting up the liars, and slapping...stomping...yelling at the saboteurs.

And this played out until it was complete, all of the old Self out and into the paper.

The next part of the ceremony is to dismember this old Self, and she began with the head.   Ripping the paper through the throat, freeing her voice!  We cursed and swore and rejected all the things the old Self stored as she continued ripping the many body parts apart.  Her true Self expressing sovereignty and ownership of her body, mind, and soul.  When she was done, I looked at this lovely being and her face had changed.  Her eyes were a darker green.  She felt weightless as if I could see right through her.  She is new.

It was dark, and raining...a perfect cocktail to dig a grave.  So we collected all her old paper Self parts, bundled them together and that girl was digging as quickly as she could.  We threw her old Self into the ground, did a typical...we are gathered here tonight to honor the passing of....

Forgiveness was expressed in celebratory vibration. Then, the grave was covered and the party began.  A special party where we stomped on that grave, yipped to our Selves at congratulations, danced, shook, howled, and birthed a special song that I now believe will act as a mantra or affirmation for her to use to keep herself from recreating those old habits.  I won't share it here because if feels sacred and I know that each death ceremony I facilitate from here on out will have it's own sacred tool individual to that client.

My dearest friend met herSelf that day.  Met her truth, her light, and her power.  She just had to release and bury the parts of her that held contrary energy to her true Self.  I can now say with this death ceremony added to my energy medicine bag, the death and dying process is easy peasy and shouldn't be put off.  There is such an immediate renewal into the tangible realm of the power inside the soul.  There is such a relief and release, as if it was ages ago that my friend had that old Self living her life.  She left her "soul rehab" a full version of her true self, along with tricks and tools and tasks to keep her on point as she carves the trails in creating her life forward.  So cool....

Day three was all about the journey.  She learned how to journey to her true Self, her inner world landscape, and into her power.  She experienced and felt the qualities of who she really is from this place.  Then we crafted her a set of soul cards that are all hers to use when she needs remembering of her greatness.  She gained a power animal to guide and protect her on her journey of empowerment from healing.  She has several mantras and affirmations.  And is fully equipped to tackle life's obstacles with a new set of soul rules.  We occupied the empty space the death made with the qualities and ammunition to be who she really is.  An open, strong, intuitive Goddess.

I am ready and honored to facilitate this ceremony for anyone at a trans-formative place in their life.   And/or wanting to begin an annual, bi-annual, quarterly death to the "skin" that is no longer needed to roam free in the wild of the inner world.  Be ready to be wild, uninhibited, and loud!  You can contact me at inquirewithin.me@gmail to schedule a session for death, or life, or rebirth!

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