Evolution of a belief...

Within the last couple of months, a friend of mine was honoring a couple of dead birds by processing them in medicine, to make medicine, and psychopomp them in her beautiful, ritualistic ways. I am somewhat known to be somebody who is good with death and rebirthing dead bodies. She came to me a little unsure in declaring that these two different birds were going to be unified in their end. The challenge for her was that once upon a time she heard me speak to a group of circled women about mixing the medicines of Earth. And in that once upon a time, in this circle women I spoke about not mixing different medicines because everything has its place in nature. 

Now, at that once upon a time, that is a belief I agreed to. And I did not realize how much my belief had changed until she came to me unsure and questioning and seeking advice. Because now I agree to a belief a free range medicine. And doing what you have to do to either make the medicine, or shift the shit, or rewild the parts of you back into wholeness. Now, I agree to acting from the knowing within me...doing things from that spirit guidance...and above all, sacred listening. This means to me that if MY medicine requires mixed medicine...then dagnabit, I will mix my medicines and do what is true for me.

When she came to me that day unsure and questioning and seeking my advice I was comically stunned at the fact that I had no recollection of the speech I gave that held such an impact on her. I still giggle at my reaction in that moment, thinking she must be thinking of somebody else. But it was me that said that. It was me that, once upon a time, believed that you could not mix a deer with an elk. It was me that ,once a upon a time, believed you could not mix an owl with a rabbit. Boy o boy have times changed. 

Since that time of believing that medicines could not be mixed, I have witnessed deer and Elk grazing in the same field, commingling without fear or judgment but with respect and awareness of the differences between them. Since that time I've seen a coyote pup play with a domestic dog pup. Since that time I have seen antelope feed with beef cattle. And since that time I have listened to the spirit of drums that I birth request fur of a different kind to be their handle. Since that time I have changed because my experiences of Life have brought me different perspectives...and my beliefs have changed too...with or without my consent or awareness. #changewiththechange

Now, I will not say that my once upon a time belief is wrong, or no longer valuable, or does not have its own truth, or isn't right for somebody else. I will say that my agreement to it has changed. I will say that I now understand and stand in the vision  of more than one way, belief, and truth. I will say that for me to remain free in my power, and my medicine, and in my life, and my being...my beliefs don't have to change necessarily but my agreements to the beliefs change naturally and organically with or without my awareness or conscious involvement. It's like...the opposing beliefs both still exist within me...as do all things and possibilities...AND, it's in MY agreement to whatever one works for the situations that enables my inner freedom. I will say that I notice a lot less weight in my being. I notice a lot less cords to be cut. I notice less self-harm through poisonous inner-talk. I notice wholeness in action. 

I also noticed that when I am not aware of myself and my changing agreements I stagnate myself, I hold myself back, I am grappled with my inner demons and saboteurs, and I am weighed down by the carcassed agreements that I'm still feeding off of subconsciously. I don't have to shame or blame anything about the belief that no longer floats my boat...I simply tell myself "huh...I no longer agree to that", and move on in the direction of my power and peace. It's not about either belief being right or wrong...both are true in the grand scheme of existence...it's about my right to choose what I agree to and my responsibility to change with my changing agreements. 

Sounds simple, right? Well, it kinda is. It may not be easy, but it's simple. And for me, simplicity breeds ease. And there will be little deaths but they won't kill you...AND...there are little deaths all through Life whether we like it or not...so we might as well make the best of it and evolve ourselves and our agreements...this is my thought anyway…

I feel a bit bad, actually. I feel bad that by sharing my voice once upon a time made my friend feel trapped to that idea or belief. I appreciate the awareness of the gravity of the impact leaders have on people. AND...we both are human on this Earth together...we both evolve and grow and learn. I am grateful she braved asking me about that belief I shared once upon a time because we both learned and grew through it. And I am now bodily aware of the importance of making sure I share my stories and medicine from a place of "this is me" and not so much from a place of "this is how it is". 

I can see value in the power we have in our beliefs. I can see that wherever there is one belief there is its equal and opposite as well. I am learning that one way to remain wild and free in a world of equal and opposite dualities, polarities, and factions of ideals, is to acknowledge both or true and declare the agreement that I own in the moment.

Shameless plug. I can say without a shadow of a doubt, that this evolution of a belief in a gentle and natural way would not be happening without my ReWilding Wholeness circle. The spirit of ReWilding has guided not only me as the facilitator personally, it also guides the places and spaces we go as gathered women. 

So, if you are looking for this type of empowered and compassionate self growth and evolution and learning and knowing and being...get ready... Because ReWilding Wholeness doors will be open September 1st to September 22nd. And, to deepen the the knowledge and skills of being in good relationship with death, join me in October for an online circle of sacred space exploring death, the little deaths of life, crossing over the energies, and the sacred act of psychopomp. Details on this one are still being birthed, but it's still coming. And of course, there are still some spots open in this year’s Drum Making Circle…yet another deep dive into death integrity and turning pain into power.

Prompts.  

  • What belief are you agreeing to that has kept you stagnant? 

  • What belief are you avoiding because you don't want to be  "wrong"?

  • This week, try not reacting to any belief. Try holding your center, in the moment, and with curiosity inquire within as to what you actually agree with in that moment


In wholeness & magic,

Nissa