When is bad news good news?
This morning I pulled some Wildwood Tarot cards for myself. I wanted some insight guidance on this path I'm on as I create my first E-circle. (which begins July 10th....shameless plug that you can still get in on the goodness) Anyway, I took some time for myself before shooting my welcome video for the group. I know how this upcoming work feels. I know that it will rock. I know that it will be a perfect unfolding for each and every one of us in the space created. As I was swirling in this knowing, I also felt a bit unsure of who I am through this. Yes, I'm the guide, the space holder, and a participant. Yet, I felt there is more at play here. I felt a wave of memories come over me...I've been on this path for a LONG time and only now am I actually moving along the path. Those memories and the ME in them are floating around like a ghost. An the ME in this moment is having strong boundaries with my former Self because where I'm at and where I'm going doesn't have room for the past I've already forgiven. This ghost of a Me from what seems like lifetimes ago is just that...a ghost. So what is it doing haunting my present?
I can be over the the past, but can the past be over me?
Feels like a sick joke played at my expense. HA! Jokes on them or it or whatever, because I've got this tarot deck reading! Okay, so, back to that. The spread ended with the outcome of the Blasted Oak. Which is the Hanged Man and the Tower card combined. These cards turn things upside down, inside out, and crumble it all to the ground at the end of the day. These are the cards that when show up carry a "da-daa-dunnn" and one braces for the bad news or braces for a blow of some sort. I totally had that moment when I saw it in my outcome. I feel SO sure, I feel SO good about what I'm creating and doing, how can it have this destructive outcome? In the midst of this panic I heard a subtle but undeniable "NO" in my gut. So, I held that card to my heart and moved into the stillness of my centered soul. I saw that ghost of Nissa's past explode into many bits. Destroying the lies of perfection equals worthiness. Destroying the lies of mistakes being a sin. Destroying the pain of the guilt and doubt from mistakes made. Yeah....burn, baby, burn. Destroy the form of my limitations, please! Welcome Blasted Oak! Crumble all that hasn't evolved into the present with me. And thank you for bringing me the goodness of your bad news.
Perspective changes things. Sometimes I have to hold the bad news, drag it into my centered soul and dig for the launching pad to a higher perspective. Work well done.
What in your life could use some destruction? Where in your life do you need a broader perspective?