I met my other at a rock concert. Me: in a naughty schoolgirl mini skirt and ready to get a bit crazy. Him: dragged there by his sister-in-law and ready to slink into the walls. The moment we saw each other: soul collision. I blinked my eyes in slow motion and a flash of light went off in my head. When I opened my eyes that dark music hall was atwitter with sparkles all around him. The music went to the background. I welcomed his eyes into my heart. For him, the music stopped all together, all he saw was me, all we wanted to see was me. I didn't believe in my heart until then. He didn't start living until then.
The rest of the night was a primal soul conversation of magnetic honesty. We saw each other, plain and simple. There was an other-worldy understanding of what we say in each other. Authentic and brutally different than anything we’d known before. The polarity of who we are as individuals filled in each other's blank spaces. Life finally had a home.
Our first official date was within a week. Engaged within 5 months. Married now for 9 years.
Me: could do without the marriage thing. Would be with him just because. We had to elope privately for me to go through with it. Him: always wanted to be married and couldn’t wait to have a ring on his finger. What he’s learned from me about love: to feel love takes courage and self-exploration. What I learned from him about love: he was willing to take my name because it isn’t about man vs. woman to him, it’s about being one. (with that, I proudly took his name)
This oneness has been the premise of our entire relationship. Oneness is wholeness when both parties are who they are in harmony with the other. Harmony is not exempt nor independent of conflict. Harmony, however, does require respecting the other as a whole being separate from you. I am in love with the fact that we do this for each other. Our oneness is not at all contingent on us being the same. In fact, our oneness thrives on us being different.
We’ve had epic brawls. We’ve wounded each other. It’s been bloody and messy, like a tornado tore through the village of our relationship. I’ve said “I’m like an elk who migrates when the land is no longer nourishing”. He’s replied with “no matter where you migrate to, that land is still me”. I not only fell in love with, but continue to be in love with a partner who believes in us as a whole one. This is a strength and a quality I respect so much it makes me melt with desire to be his...and him to be mine.
I drive him crazy with my fiery quick wit and passionate intensity. He infuriates me with needing to think so long about how he feels. I make him gut laugh so hard he cries and hugs me in appreciation. He makes me feel like a Goddess because he puts my needs and wishes before his. He can’t stand how my creative soul dances across the spectrum of things to do. I want to punch him for trying to fix my problems. I make him feel like a valuable man by telling him how proud of him I am. He fills me up by believing in me. It’s simple, we see each other as flawed, perfect, and whole. We see our relationship as flawed, perfect, and whole.
He is a divine masculine who serves me because it makes him happy to see me feel beautifully pampered. I am a divine feminine who feeds him with gratitude and purpose. We are whole in our individual selves and whole in our oneness. And we keep choosing each other.
It is Winter Solstice, the return of the sun...the return of all the masculine energy that comes with the sun. As I'm stirring the cosmic waves of the Solstice this year my heart has flooded with gratitude for this man in my life. He embodies the beauty, service, and power of the divine masculine. I appreciate his BEing all that he is. I believe that we need to honor the man/men who provide this earth the qualities masculine. I offer a holla' out to all the good men out there who are wild, who are warriors at heart, who dare to brave the unjust world without violence in order to remain here and love their women. The mystery of the Man is to be seen and allowed, not refined and corralled. Welcome back, powerful masculine sun energy. May this year be a year of healing and hearing our good Men.