Of little words...

20150302_162830We all shed...

when the air begins to crisp... and the elk hunting has ended...

it is my time to cave...

this is a time when I lean into little words...

there's so much to say that I don't know where to begin...

so I don't. I let silence and the voice-less looks speak my shift...

I love the cave.

the womb of mama earth...it too, is of little words...as it gestates me into my next new skin.

I become of little words when my feelers are greater than my thinking...

standing in my life, centered and questioning.

blood is one of ignited transformation...

unforgiving because it trusts my power to grow and be...even when I don't...

bold, brave, love that floods my knowing with the light of being a sacred human...

of little words...

the vehicle to slide me through the seasons of shedding...

this year, this moment, with the fires burning and the trees so thirsty...

I stand skinned of an old skin without the mercy of new skin being ready underneath...

not moving.

waiting for the new skin to bring the new paths and directions...

remember I've been here before...always rearranging in this season of little words...

acknowledging it looks a little more raw and grotesque than usual...

willing to see how well I wear the color of cave...of blood...of mud...of shed skin.

willing to feel beautiful in it...and see it's beauty...

waiting for the vision, the truth of things, the knowing to speak up...

too much chatter becomes land mines for soul speak to be heard...

so I am of little words.

 

lil'familyMy lil' family...

My tribe! It appears that when my lil' family and I came back from elk hunting a few weeks ago, I dropped off the outside world. And I did. I needed to. We cut the hunting trip short for a couple of good reasons. Wildfire. Hole in my head. Blackouts. Exploding pain. So grateful for the cow elk that the hubs shot. He may have pulled the trigger, but she came for me. She drank ALL the magic and juju I had in my hunting pouch. I felt her coming towards us before we saw her. And I knew there was no more elk to kill because she took all the YES I had been praying for. The next few days of hunting were more of me gathering juniper and making smudge wands...hiking around with a gun...watching and communing with the ravens as they feasted on the gut pile...reveling in the silence and open space with the occasional shot of coyote rock band...and on the last night there, watching the fire cloud roar. I have no words...just tears.

smudgemakin'sunrisegunwalking

In sacred circles we talk of integrity. This hunting trip, mine was challenged.I am the huntress. I crave the connection. I am used to orchestrating a hunt with me in mind as I am there to HUNT. This year, I orchestrated...but sent the hubs to the line of fire...I could feel her heading that way. With reluctant willingness I stayed back to glass. Truth is, the hole in my head was not being kind to me that evening and my vision was wonky. Truth is, integrity is more than an agreement...it's an action. I wasn't willing to risk providing a good death simply because so much of my identity is THE huntress. It meant surrendering the shot to my man, which I don't do often or well. I could have dug deep and found the sure will and focus to push through my temporary limitations and make that kill. But for the sake of this cow, any cow, any animals having a good death my integrity showed up like a huge mama bear and put me in my place. I now see this is the moment my skin was ripped from me. My yearly shedding has shown up as a skinning. I dare not move until my new skin grows in.

gregnarmy wild man...
my Greg-nar...
my king...

Other big news...my brother has finally moved out of the house!!!! Yip Yip Yip! He's working on getting his stuff out of our garage and shed, but he's out of the house and I am purging and moving and rearranging and deep soul cleaning. This is great for my local or near-by tribe dwellers because now my witchy cave (work space) is craving an in person circle now that he's out. So...sisters...I'm thinking a November 14th circle. Mark your calendars if this calls to you and keep an eye out for registration. I kinda thought those circles were done with but...no...with the brother gone I see that this house and this tiny bit of earth I live on are rich with sacred space juju and it was right to stop holding circles when he was here. I feel like a boogie dance of excitement at the vision of circling again in person. I can't wait!

rattlebowlsing

Let's see...oh, that's right! The next thing I wanted to catch y'all up on is the winds of Soul Craft are shifting again! For those of you who have been on this path with me from the beginning or at least a couple of years then I'm sure this declaration is familiar! There is a beautiful sunrise in my heart at realizing this is just another natural cycle of things. I remember having full on melt downs when I made changes in Soul Craft because I had fear around being seen as flaky or unreliable. I love that old version of myself...she has taught me a lot...anyway, I now own that this is part of being the hollow bone for my life and my business. Change with the change.

 

Last year the change was to take the blog off of public and make it more private...for subscribers only. This will be changing again so I can more effectively grow how I am seen. I still want to do something for subscribers only because you rock and I love your presence with me...I am of little words so I can hear what inspired action is on the horizon for you. On the internet front...I smell big winds of change. Thinking of rebirthing my work under my name...coming out from behind the name Soul Craft. {gulp} I am a soul crafter, so this essence will always be a part of what I do. And maybe this is all just talk coming from the uber stillness of having been recently soul-skinned...but I don't think so. I think this idea is just scary enough to experience a shit ton of growth. I'm looking at switching content management systems and I'm looking at switching my groups to being on the site. One more cyber shift...if you don't know already...there is a new-ish social media platform in town and they respect privacy. If you too are burnt out by the controlling machine of Facebook, you can join me and many others over there. My thought is the more we use it the less we will use FB and theĀ  more time we give back to ourselves. I hope to see you there...because truth is I don't want to be on Facebook forever. https://mewe.com/i/nissa.howard

Man, I miss the gentleness of soul-shedding right about now...I am a bit shocked by this thought...shedding is tough...I guess I am grateful for it in comparison to this sudden skinning. The words of a dear friend, Catherine, "be kind to yourself" echo in my being. So with my little words I will step back into my cave again and return to my state of skinned and raw. For now, it's where I need to be.

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Thank you for being here on this path with me. May you check in with yourself and ask what changes you need to love up on. What are they? I'm listening...comment below if you feel called to share. May the power within you know your inner world as home and dance around with freedom in your bones. Much love, Nissa