I laugh with a tricksters' glee when I think of the many, many times I have tried to write a blog for you in the last two months. Oh, I have many blog posts started...pages of brain dumps and heart vomits that stop having a say as quickly as they began to voice themselves. Even today, I wanted to write for you...so I revisited the many drafts to find their soil sitting fallow. I tried to start a new one...a fresh thought that came from this morning's journey with spirit and journal processing. Yeah...nothing.
Not that I have nothing to share...oh I have a shit ton to share! There is this holding of breath that keeps me from having a still enough shot to pull the trigger on blogging and many things related to my soul crafting business. There is another held breath within me that keeps me from using my voice...not out of fear or doubt or sabotage...it's out of needing to keep things unsaid for now because I am not done processing my stories and the lands I'm traveling have soil of solitary steps.
So, I won't say I'm sorry because I've done nothing wrong. I will say I'm finding the more I remember myself, the more my true natural rhythms form their own time frames and seasons.
My cave time is now entering record breaking number of days...months...seasons. My seeds have been started late in terms of almanacs and calendar planning. Winter never happened within me...it's waiting to be experienced this summer. Early mornings are rising me before I think I should be up.
The voice that sees what time it is, what season it is, what day it is...is rebelling from what these things SHOULD be and creating the time, season, days, and rhythms of what best SERVES me. And I'm letting it alter my entire world. All this creative chaos began being really great the moment I chose to believe that surrender does not equal submission. Surrendering to the re-calibration of my inner world. Dreaming of the rebirth it will bring me.
Right now, my story is one of BEing and DOing what is ease-filled, mindful, beautiful, and nourishing. Like I said...it's where I need to be. I wonder...is the next step in wanting to be where I need to be? All I know in this moment...today...is that I'm only doing what feels true, not forcing what doesn't flow through me, and loving my new found truth that I can start when I'm ready because I'm letting my sacred individualist rhythm create a new normal for me. My compass has turned...
Tell me, what are you forcing? If you could do it your way...how would you do it?
Tell me, are there unsung rhythms to be discovered in your life? What might they be?
Tell me, did this stir anything for you? Comment below...