Answering the Call of the Cave

Didn't think this was going to be shared.  But when the soul speaks, I listen.  So, anytime I offer soul inquiry on a video or a blog post; I myself take to the journal to answer the questions.  I do the work I offer you to do.  I walk beside you in process when you choose to dig deep too.  As a guide, I'm on the journey, the exploration with you.  So, my last blog post was an ass-kicker of a post in that I wasn't fully conscious of what was being written until it was done writing itself and the fire within impulsively sent it out anyway.  The questions at the end of the post were really gritty, and as I did the work of answering them it became clear to post my responses to share. Why?  Well, that is a good question.  My mind said "you're kidding, right? This is personal stuff, nobody wants to see this.  This makes me vulnerable and scared".  My heart said "ummm, yeah, this is scary but I get it. It feels like walking the talk. I feel naked, I feel like it's the right move to let the cave bare all.  I'm still scared though."  My soul said "there is more medicine in sharing then there is is teaching".

  • what is behind the avoidance of stillness? An incessant anxious fear that things don't get done in the stillness and things must get done!!! Thing is, getting all this outside stuff done makes me feel like I'm getting NOTHING done.  All the pushing is not a match for my centered power. Under THAT is the fear of owning the power beholden in the stillness...the truth that lies there calling me into something bigger...Under THAT is what if I loose what I love about my life when I step into that powerful truth from the stillness.  Under that is the courage to hold both what I love AND what is new because it feels exciting to take who and what I love with me into the adventure of awakening more.
  • what emotion pushes down the magic of an open heart? Exhaustion.  Feeling depleted and needing solitude.  Need better boundaries...compassionate boundaries...clear boundaries...
  • what thought is shackling creativity? Thinking that I'm pimping myself to the world with little return so why give out what isn't equally returned.   What I have to create is sacred to me so I must protect who sees it so it isn't tainted with the judgements and negative emotions it might stir in others.   And then I think why create at all if it means I've got to hide it.  This shackles me on the surface...but there is a deep resonate engine driving my creative inspirations upward and it is constantly pushing me forward regardless of the shackles that slow it down.  Is this what purpose does? Is this what purpose is?  A need to do or create something that the thinking mind could walk away from but the feeling and knowing never goes away.  Fuck, this is a trip into uncharted territory. 
  • who and what nurtures obstacles? (in order to protect the identity of the people, I've re-written this to be generally speaking) The agenda of so called diversity nurtures obstacles and the manipulation of this agenda not only nurtures but spreads the disease of separation which by itself is an obstacle.  (if this is unclear, you just may need to ask me about it sometime) The voices, tapes, and programs of "not doing it right", "not being trusted to handle things in a certain way" totally nurture my obstacles...I get that there is more than one way to do something, I just wish I could be treated with the same respect. Past and present people that hold me to my old patterns is a painful obstacle.  I nurture these obstacles by listening to the part of me that buys into this shit, that part of me that is wounded by this shit. That voice is clear, the rage around it is clear, and so it's easy to hear.  This part of me is so tiny, such a small pocket of who I am, but it,'s clarity is easy to see.  The rest of me, the bigger parts of me that are capable of helping this sad lil' part are not so clear...they are made of of air, fire, water, and earth...a bit more elusive and mysterious in their voice.  I guess I just need to be okay with this.  It helps to write this out, I see that I just need to spend some time loving and hearing that loud, wounded little piece of me.  There is powerful release of resistance in being heard.  I need to just take a moment, enter stillness with this piece and hear her wail, rage, and say all the gritty, dirty true things so they can become a different truth that his more helpful.  I also see that I'm nurturing obstacles by resisting the reorganization of people in my life.  Shits gotta shift.
  • who and what nurtures success? (again with the identity protection) Oh, my stars...am I blessed with a herd of truly amazing beings roaming with me in my inner circle or what?!?!  There are some true men that carry the medicine of the divine masculine and they inspire me to love my inner feminine. They are in service to those they love without keeping score...they serve because it feels good to, and this is a powerful gift.  I have a handful of women who transcend the energy around them.  These precious few close to my heart and soul are the ones who love all the versions of me, and I love all the versions of them. There is respect, and respect nurtures my desire to be successful...makes me feel like I can achieve it.  Feeling capable nurtures success.  A flexible structure nurtures success...solid foundation, flexible, evolving, remodeling all the time within the house on that solid foundation. Imbibing on creative actions nurture success.
  • what really matters? (the kind that when stripped from having STUFF, what stuff would you have?) Have a deep, true, happy and equal exchanging relationship with people that I love and that love me.  Those precious few that hold being authentic as a virtue.  I want relationships that breed feelings of elated joy, acceptance, challenge, growth, growth, accomplishment, perspective, connection, trust, and partnering...equal...diverse, learning from each other.  This is what matters to me...feeling in good relationship.
  • what do the feelings of what matters feel like? What kind of question is this?  Shit, it came from within me...weird.  Okay, gotta dig here...what matters feels like my heart is expanding so far out that I don't sense a boundary line.  What matters feels to me like this core truth that is so intrinsically woven into my soul that it has no language to speak it's message to my brain with....it is the heartbeat of my center.  What matters feels like pure energy flooding my muscles and bones and cells, providing respite from the aches and pains of the physical body.  What matters feels like wholeness in motion.

What does this sharing mean to you?

**please share if you are moved by this!

Death Ceremony

~This post was actually not gonna come out until next Tuesday, but I feel a big push to post it now.  Mostly for my sisters in the SouLodge.  As we sit in the West together there has been much death and dying and release...so girls...this one is coming out early, just for you!~ For the better part of this year, I have felt a pull to create ceremony, ritual, passage.  I have many ideas swirling in my soul and one has finally birthed itself!  The inspiration has been a death ceremony as a way to lay to rest the you that you don't want to be anymore...the you that is no longer playing a positive role in creating a life you love...the you that has been on it's way out for a while but the ego is holding on to it.

A fortunate, unfortunate situation has popped up within the last month.  My dearest friend from Jr. High found herself in a place that really needed a death ceremony.  And true to the laws of the creating, timing is a big player in how and when your purpose is created.  As soon as my BFF entered this situation the download of details for this ceremony flooded in over a span of several days.  Excitement and power of transformation was bouncing my insides all over my outsides and I just knew this death ceremony had to be done, and has to be done more in the world.

She traveled to me for a time frame of several days, which now I am calling this time "soul rehab".   The first day produced healing on many levels.  We did extractions, spirit release, and soul retrieval.  Day two she accompanied me to a Yoga class I teach and that was a time to seal in the work from day one.  Later that night on day two,  the death ceremony was building and ready to GO!  So we entered my healing room and began.

We layed out two strips of butcher paper and taped them together.  As she lay on the sheet I asked if she had any last words to this skin and Self she was letting die.  She did, and with a true voice, declared her intention and gratitude....beautiful!  I began creating an energetic "coffin" around her as she imprinted her old Self into the paper, into the coffin.  I drew an outline of her form and she emerged for the next step.

With art supplies handy, the work began.  Locating a main source of suffering on the paper body, names and colors and art flowed out of her onto the paper self.  All the anger and pain and wounds boiling the blood and moving the energy OUT.  I began a wailing into the that spot, she followed with two, and that part was at peace and clean.  She powerfully and organically moved into other body parts, and letting those pains and programs have a true expression without judgment or blame.  Simple movement out of her and into the paper old Self.  Flowing gracefully she moved through the whole body...calling out demons, shutting up the liars, and slapping...stomping...yelling at the saboteurs.

And this played out until it was complete, all of the old Self out and into the paper.

The next part of the ceremony is to dismember this old Self, and she began with the head.   Ripping the paper through the throat, freeing her voice!  We cursed and swore and rejected all the things the old Self stored as she continued ripping the many body parts apart.  Her true Self expressing sovereignty and ownership of her body, mind, and soul.  When she was done, I looked at this lovely being and her face had changed.  Her eyes were a darker green.  She felt weightless as if I could see right through her.  She is new.

It was dark, and raining...a perfect cocktail to dig a grave.  So we collected all her old paper Self parts, bundled them together and that girl was digging as quickly as she could.  We threw her old Self into the ground, did a typical...we are gathered here tonight to honor the passing of....

Forgiveness was expressed in celebratory vibration. Then, the grave was covered and the party began.  A special party where we stomped on that grave, yipped to our Selves at congratulations, danced, shook, howled, and birthed a special song that I now believe will act as a mantra or affirmation for her to use to keep herself from recreating those old habits.  I won't share it here because if feels sacred and I know that each death ceremony I facilitate from here on out will have it's own sacred tool individual to that client.

My dearest friend met herSelf that day.  Met her truth, her light, and her power.  She just had to release and bury the parts of her that held contrary energy to her true Self.  I can now say with this death ceremony added to my energy medicine bag, the death and dying process is easy peasy and shouldn't be put off.  There is such an immediate renewal into the tangible realm of the power inside the soul.  There is such a relief and release, as if it was ages ago that my friend had that old Self living her life.  She left her "soul rehab" a full version of her true self, along with tricks and tools and tasks to keep her on point as she carves the trails in creating her life forward.  So cool....

Day three was all about the journey.  She learned how to journey to her true Self, her inner world landscape, and into her power.  She experienced and felt the qualities of who she really is from this place.  Then we crafted her a set of soul cards that are all hers to use when she needs remembering of her greatness.  She gained a power animal to guide and protect her on her journey of empowerment from healing.  She has several mantras and affirmations.  And is fully equipped to tackle life's obstacles with a new set of soul rules.  We occupied the empty space the death made with the qualities and ammunition to be who she really is.  An open, strong, intuitive Goddess.

I am ready and honored to facilitate this ceremony for anyone at a trans-formative place in their life.   And/or wanting to begin an annual, bi-annual, quarterly death to the "skin" that is no longer needed to roam free in the wild of the inner world.  Be ready to be wild, uninhibited, and loud!  You can contact me at inquirewithin.me@gmail to schedule a session for death, or life, or rebirth!

www.inquirewithin.me

www.facebook.com.inquirewithin.me