Answering the Call of the Cave

Didn't think this was going to be shared.  But when the soul speaks, I listen.  So, anytime I offer soul inquiry on a video or a blog post; I myself take to the journal to answer the questions.  I do the work I offer you to do.  I walk beside you in process when you choose to dig deep too.  As a guide, I'm on the journey, the exploration with you.  So, my last blog post was an ass-kicker of a post in that I wasn't fully conscious of what was being written until it was done writing itself and the fire within impulsively sent it out anyway.  The questions at the end of the post were really gritty, and as I did the work of answering them it became clear to post my responses to share. Why?  Well, that is a good question.  My mind said "you're kidding, right? This is personal stuff, nobody wants to see this.  This makes me vulnerable and scared".  My heart said "ummm, yeah, this is scary but I get it. It feels like walking the talk. I feel naked, I feel like it's the right move to let the cave bare all.  I'm still scared though."  My soul said "there is more medicine in sharing then there is is teaching".

  • what is behind the avoidance of stillness? An incessant anxious fear that things don't get done in the stillness and things must get done!!! Thing is, getting all this outside stuff done makes me feel like I'm getting NOTHING done.  All the pushing is not a match for my centered power. Under THAT is the fear of owning the power beholden in the stillness...the truth that lies there calling me into something bigger...Under THAT is what if I loose what I love about my life when I step into that powerful truth from the stillness.  Under that is the courage to hold both what I love AND what is new because it feels exciting to take who and what I love with me into the adventure of awakening more.
  • what emotion pushes down the magic of an open heart? Exhaustion.  Feeling depleted and needing solitude.  Need better boundaries...compassionate boundaries...clear boundaries...
  • what thought is shackling creativity? Thinking that I'm pimping myself to the world with little return so why give out what isn't equally returned.   What I have to create is sacred to me so I must protect who sees it so it isn't tainted with the judgements and negative emotions it might stir in others.   And then I think why create at all if it means I've got to hide it.  This shackles me on the surface...but there is a deep resonate engine driving my creative inspirations upward and it is constantly pushing me forward regardless of the shackles that slow it down.  Is this what purpose does? Is this what purpose is?  A need to do or create something that the thinking mind could walk away from but the feeling and knowing never goes away.  Fuck, this is a trip into uncharted territory. 
  • who and what nurtures obstacles? (in order to protect the identity of the people, I've re-written this to be generally speaking) The agenda of so called diversity nurtures obstacles and the manipulation of this agenda not only nurtures but spreads the disease of separation which by itself is an obstacle.  (if this is unclear, you just may need to ask me about it sometime) The voices, tapes, and programs of "not doing it right", "not being trusted to handle things in a certain way" totally nurture my obstacles...I get that there is more than one way to do something, I just wish I could be treated with the same respect. Past and present people that hold me to my old patterns is a painful obstacle.  I nurture these obstacles by listening to the part of me that buys into this shit, that part of me that is wounded by this shit. That voice is clear, the rage around it is clear, and so it's easy to hear.  This part of me is so tiny, such a small pocket of who I am, but it,'s clarity is easy to see.  The rest of me, the bigger parts of me that are capable of helping this sad lil' part are not so clear...they are made of of air, fire, water, and earth...a bit more elusive and mysterious in their voice.  I guess I just need to be okay with this.  It helps to write this out, I see that I just need to spend some time loving and hearing that loud, wounded little piece of me.  There is powerful release of resistance in being heard.  I need to just take a moment, enter stillness with this piece and hear her wail, rage, and say all the gritty, dirty true things so they can become a different truth that his more helpful.  I also see that I'm nurturing obstacles by resisting the reorganization of people in my life.  Shits gotta shift.
  • who and what nurtures success? (again with the identity protection) Oh, my stars...am I blessed with a herd of truly amazing beings roaming with me in my inner circle or what?!?!  There are some true men that carry the medicine of the divine masculine and they inspire me to love my inner feminine. They are in service to those they love without keeping score...they serve because it feels good to, and this is a powerful gift.  I have a handful of women who transcend the energy around them.  These precious few close to my heart and soul are the ones who love all the versions of me, and I love all the versions of them. There is respect, and respect nurtures my desire to be successful...makes me feel like I can achieve it.  Feeling capable nurtures success.  A flexible structure nurtures success...solid foundation, flexible, evolving, remodeling all the time within the house on that solid foundation. Imbibing on creative actions nurture success.
  • what really matters? (the kind that when stripped from having STUFF, what stuff would you have?) Have a deep, true, happy and equal exchanging relationship with people that I love and that love me.  Those precious few that hold being authentic as a virtue.  I want relationships that breed feelings of elated joy, acceptance, challenge, growth, growth, accomplishment, perspective, connection, trust, and partnering...equal...diverse, learning from each other.  This is what matters to me...feeling in good relationship.
  • what do the feelings of what matters feel like? What kind of question is this?  Shit, it came from within me...weird.  Okay, gotta dig here...what matters feels like my heart is expanding so far out that I don't sense a boundary line.  What matters feels to me like this core truth that is so intrinsically woven into my soul that it has no language to speak it's message to my brain with....it is the heartbeat of my center.  What matters feels like pure energy flooding my muscles and bones and cells, providing respite from the aches and pains of the physical body.  What matters feels like wholeness in motion.

What does this sharing mean to you?

**please share if you are moved by this!

Unclear, But Moving Forward

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Again, another month without a video.  This morning I decided to stop whiny inside my head about not being in a place to do a video. and just write instead.  And trust me, I'm doing you a favor...

It's not pretty around here right now.

My superman is healing well, grumpy as hell, soul searching his shit, and to my elation he his becoming even MORE of a superman to me. It's like his body being broken has set free his inner vision, and will all our time together lately I'm seeing how strong and wise and wonderful he really is.  Consequently, I'm pulling triple duty so, oh man...the bags under my eyes are really not camera friendly right now!

In an effort to bolster our finaces while he's out of work I drug out an elk hide and began fleshing, scraping, soaking, loving, and creating sacred sound makers.  Yep, it's a bit stinky but it is deeply creative to birth a sacred item. If you are interested in one, contact me. (Pictures of the curing process are the featured image!)

Oh, and homeschool started this week...so, yeah, no video right now.

And now, here's the gritty stuff.  I am in that itchy, scratchy, jittery state of transformation.  I am really feeling the snake in myself as it sheds skin. (and of course I found a full snake skin the other day in my wood pile) I have been feeling all year that Inquire Within isn't it anymore.  That I need to rebirth my purpose under a new name, a new path, new boundaries and I desire so deeply the clarity to do this all. I've journey, meditated, and prayed and the messages or insights I get are definitely what I need to hear...just not the easy "to do list" of clarity I was wanting to hear.

I'm unclear how to, but I'm still moving forward.

I cannot paint the picture yet of what this will look like.  I only smell the excitement of aligning my actions with my feelings.  And I feel the weight of the old skin as an intense burn of motivation to get it done.  This month I will be recreating a new website under my new working name and at some point be able to announce it's arrival to you.  I will be diggin' deep to locate the direction that feels amazing in my bones and honestly look at what I want to do.

I have visions and feelings of holding the space for women to gather and soul craft.

I feel this so deeply that I am kinda confused as to why it's not happening yet.  And frustrated about it too, which only makes that itch of the shedding skin more intense and more motivating to let go of.

I have a deep desire to impact my subscribers and followers in a way that inspires them to craft their soul and free them Selves to run wild and free.

I am digging deep, letting my whole and authentic Self do the remodeling of this trans-formative fire.  I am not clear, but I'm moving forward.  I have no flippin' clue how this will all get done, but I'm slithering through the grass...sensing every ripple and flowing my course with that.

Now you know what is happening...Inquire Within is coming off and Soul Crating is emerging from under the skin of my soul.  Ahhhhh, feels good to be in the center of the fire.

Is there a piece of yourSelf that is itching to be shed?  In what ways do you ignore it?  What is under the skin, aching to emerge in you?

~~~~~~~

Nissa is a wild woman intuitive, writer, Shamanic practitioner and Soul Crafter. You can experience one on one sessions with her to awaken more of who you are through shamanic energy medicine. Either in person or online.  Contact her to schedule your appointment.

Back to Reflection

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My last post about perception and reflection was derailed by my own awareness of Self, which needed to be honored and heard; my wish is that this gave you a map or template from which to monitor your own stuff and turn it into something useful and good.  So, today I would like to re-rail this topic and dive into using it as a soul crafting tool.  You may (or may not) remember that it all started with this quote:

Your perception of me is a reflection of you. My reaction to you is an awareness of me.~askcoachbobbi.com

The first sentence of this was one of those light-switch moments of freedom from outside judgements and projections.  I notice that turning this idea into action keeps the weight of these outside influences out of my energy fields. And it keeps them out by the reflection aspect behaving like a repellant.  It sends the outside judgement back to the sender.  I also noticed that in this state of energetic freedom I am able to hear the other person better, not take their judgments personally, and hold my own strong center in dealing with them.  Holding a strong center for me is key to speaking my truth.  If I'm not in the center of my inner world, my truth is subject to the lies of others' illusions.  This can come in handy in SO many inter-personal relationships.  How many times have you taken on someone else's judgment of yourself and let that self-talk take you down a road that isn't even yours?  Have you ever taken to heart something your partner said about you as a truth, but in fact is their own wounds and triggers using perception of others to have a voice?  I know I sure have. This action of reflection also keeps the lines of energy clean and true.  What is yours is yours, and what is mine is mine.

This whole "perception is a reflection of you" thing bit me in the ass big time with my hubby.  I was being really critical of him one day, saying horrible and stupid things; when it hit me that my perception of him is a reflection of me.  The stuff I was saying to him was actually things that I do, and don't do.  I had to stop, process, apologize and forgive myself.  (gulp)  Then I had to speak my truth of it, I am the one who always..... I am the one who doesn't consider.... and so on. Pride took a hard fall that day, but I really experienced the power of this perception/reflection tool, and the responsibility of using it as well. 

Be careful to not judge others for judging you...judging others for judging you is simply perceiving them as a reflection of you. 

See, it's not balanced and right to think that you are never the problem...that it is always someone else's stuff influencing you.  I am realizing that the "return to sender" reflection is the first step; it keeps the energy boundaries clean between people (remember: what is theirs is theirs; what is mine is mine).  But then I'm noticing that within the the individual energy field, you must check in with what small aspect of you is the mirror of which the outside perception was reflecting.  This is where my Inquire Within magic really gets things poppin' and brings to life step 2. You have to look at that mirror within which triggered the outside perception; why is it there?  Is it still necessary for who you are?  Does it give you the material you need to soul craft?  Is it true?  Was it ever?  Does it need to be healed and released?  Does it need to be fed, nourished, and have a voice?  I think that conflict, criticism, or anything comes to you for a reason.  Which is why I love being able to hand back to the outside world what isn't mine; stay observant of my own inner world free and clear as to what I need to do to craft my soul...and my life...and who I am.

now, after those two steps.....

The second sentence of this quote is where the juicy empowerment begins to shine in the dark.  Choosing a {reaction/non-reaction/opinion/etc,} that is a truth from the awareness you gained by inquiring within to the inner mirror.  Action always brings empowerment to life.  You must actively choose from your awareness of your self. 

Now, let's put it all together....
  • Someone criticizes you for something you do. (their perception coming your way)
  • You notice it coming at you. You may feel nervous, angry, invaded, hurt, etc.  This is your indicator to "return to sender" by remembering that this is a reflection of themselves.  (be careful to not label what that is for them...that is theirs) 
  • In the clean, free, and clear space of your own stuff you look at the backside of that mirror they were looking at when they perceived you.  Something in you triggered them, what is it?  Is it necessary? Does it need fed or released? Could this criticism be true on some level, and could it be something worth looking at and using?
  • So, now you can see the criticism from your own eyes and not the eyes of the outside perception which is chalked full of someone else's wounds or ignorance's.  From your own perception of this reflection, you can choose what is true for you and how to react from an authentic place with a powerful voice.

Ahh, that just feels good.  Bringing it all back to the inner world just brings me to a solid, powerful, peaceful point of view.  I hope it does for you too.  If so, I challenge you to work this process next time you feel an outside perception of you being reflected, then let me know!  I'd love to hear from your experiences on the comment section of this post.

 

Nissa Howard is a soul crafter, writer, wild woman intuitive and the owner of Inquire Within; a sacred space of awakening, healing, digging deep, and discovering your truth.  She offers energy medicine and empowerment coaching using Shamanic healing techniques and intuitive reflection.  By providing sacred space to facilitate healing, workshops, growth, and discovering inner truth, she is a guide and technician into the wilderness of the inner world, where who you are is waiting to be discovered and where soul crafting takes root. Her goal is to empower others to empower themselves. The mind thinks, the heart feel, let the soul choose. Contact her today to schedule and appointment or register for a playshop. www.inquirewithin.me

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sneak peak into my own shit!

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Your perception of me is a reflection of you. My reaction to you is an awareness of me.~askcoachbobbi.com I love this quote.  I have this quote on my fridge.  I have used this quote as advice and as medicine.  I have had this quote bite me in the ass with my hubby when I realized my perception of him was a reflection of me.  (yep, that one stung a bit).  This quote has been an ah-ha game changer in my Self as it has freed me to not take things personally.  Or I should say it gave me the affirmational voice in my head to focus on when I began to take something personally.  This may not be the only time I write about this quote as I have found it applies to many topics.

Lately I've been mucking through this topic of "taking a day off".  It's a hot one right now in my life since I've been hearing it from so many people.  From people I love and I know love me and I feel that they have valid concern, as I have been working an ass ton....and I love it!  Truth be told, I find gettin' 'er done and working on building this career of mine a creative outlet.  When I'm in a creative flow I am inspired, excited, learning, growing, challenging myself, and feel like I have purpose.  It's hard to just walk away from all that feel-good momentum.  Plus, building a career, writing a book, self-marketing, yada-yada-yada takes work, focus, and sacrifice of time.  Whoa, kinda sounds like I'm trying to justify it...doesn't it?  Well, instead of backspacing and deleting that last sentence (in bold), I can use this as a teachable moment. Here's the lesson kids: when you have an awareness of yourself not speaking your truth, then you must STOP, ask yourself "who", "what", "how".

Who am I trying to convince?  "the exhausted part of me that is tired and running on empty.  I feel this in my mind and it's thinking tank is getting low...it's thunk way too much, for too long with and needs refueling."

What is really true for me? "to take some worries and fears off the table.  I can feel these taking up the thinking reserves that I want to have for my work. Everything before that bold sentence is true for me and to keep it true I must have fuel to let it continue living true for me"

How do I bring this into my truth? "first; locate, identify, and heal the heart of the worries and fear. Second; schedule some time off!"

Funny, this is not how I thought this post would go, however, a teachable moment is hard to pass up.  And my desire is that you are inspired to use this example to benefit you too!  I am chuckling at the irony of it all.  So...what just happened here?  I caught myself delivering a sentence that didn't flow as truth to my Self.  And instead of pretending it didn't happen, I used the STOP; who, what, how, truth exploration tool.  In doing so, I can see and acknowledge that I do in fact need rest and bring some of my energy resources into a full and balanced state.  I already feel less buzzing in my mind, I feel more relaxed, and I feel more deserving of the time of.  All because I took the few moments necessary to look at what is true to my Self.  Wow, this never gets old or less amazing.  Instant relief, different perspective, and the answers to my questions have given me a map of what I need to work on.  Looks like I'll be doing some energy medicine on myself this week!  I need to see what wound or imbalance is using worry and fear to take up my thinking energy...and why it has decided to present itself now.  Then I will heal it from there.  I'm thinking a dose of extraction followed by thought form/belief re-programming; a dash of power filling, and a topping of soul retrieval and I will get this tank full again.

To honor this process and the reflected answers to the "who, what, how" part one of the "how" answer is to do some energy medicine on those worries and fear (have that scheduled for myself on Thursday). Secondly, I have looked at my calendar and have found a weekend in June that I will take as my "time off".  I plan on hitting the road with my mattress in the truck bed, my food, my camping supplies and my laptop for writing.  I want to hit some campgrounds.  Hike, write, and eat.  (my version of eat, pray, love)  And for anyone who is thinking that writing is still working...well, is that your perception of me.....?

Since my original thought topic has been derailed by that sentence of non-truth, let's put this train back on the track for the next post. It is not lost on me that I began discussing a day off which indicates self-care, and I have ended up writing about how to take care of the Self in the moment. HAHA.  Seriously, this is too much fun.

Till next time..

Who gets to create? You do!!!!

I am stirring a cauldron of questions and curiosity and wonder.  Who dictates what gets created and by whom?  Why is there fear, resistance, insecurity, and doubt of worth when it comes to creating something new?  If humans are creator beings as we create with our thoughts, feelings, actions, and choices; then birthing something of your own voice and truth isn't shitting on the ones that came before you.  Right?  Look at the history of things and the how things evolve.  Where would the iPad be if there wasn't some universal permission to take something and tweek it into something else. (A-HA!) That is chemistry, that is alchemy, that is magic in essence!  Therefore, isn't it magical to life a live of creating that which comes from your soul, even if it is inspired by others?  Now, of course I'm not talking plagiarism or flat our copyright infringement.  I'm questioning the heaviness that is felt when you are seen as less than because you are doing something different that your clan, your teachers, your mentors, your elders.  I am also questioning the heaviness that is felt when you are seen as less than because you evolve a concept because it is what rings true for you.  And because it rings true for you, your belly lights on fire and you want to share this new way with others.  The grounded wild woman in me now brings into mind the cycle of life here, and the reflection of being open and encouraging of evolution of the newly born concept or item as it is being shared or taught.  Common sense reminds me that if you want to own the freedom to create, you must also give the freedom to create. When you learn something or apprentice to something, there are always those who come before you.  Their teachings, wisdom, and guidance is important and precious.  They should always be honored and credited for what they bring you.  But what if you take the teachings as inspiration and not law?  What could or would you create?  Is the heaviness mentioned earlier from them, from you, or from a rigid cultural paradigm that stems from fear?  I sense that the fear comes from a place of not wanting to forget where we came from, not wanting to loose parts of historic lessons. I can't help thinking that by honoring what was taught in tandem with what is being created from your soul, the solution is alive.  Bringing respect and gratitude to those that come before, and letting the new stuff radiate out of you...like there is a choice when the soul wakes up and says "I've got this thing to make happen!!!"

I've always been a bit of an outsider, wanting to fit in, but never really fully fitting in.  On the left of me, I'm to right for them.  On the right of me, I'm to left for them; and so on.  So, for me, I find it natural to just do stuff my way after a bit.  Then there is that "wanting to belong" nudge, that is accompanied by the "I want to learn something new" nudge, and those two elements attract great growth in exactly the right places.  For several years I've been studying core Shamanic healing through the LightSong School of Shamanic Studies.  Jan Engels-Smith is the founder of this school and it's amazing community of people.  There is not language yet for the gratitude I have for this community in my life.  It's like a soul family.  There are mirrors, cheerleaders, helpers, mentors, opportunities, and so much more.  I've had the pleasure of learning so much about core Shamanism, the healing crafts, and leadership.  This is the place I learned how to Shamanic journey, and from this skill my soul took inspiration from it, not law.

I remember my 1st and 2nd level classes.  We were supposed to get a power song.  I couldn't get one, I tried to force one or fake one to feel like I was "doing it right", but it just didn't come.  I reverted to my magical background and wove it into the lesson of filling with personal power.  In every journey there is a sense of going "out" into non-ordinary reality...and I did...but I found myself not complete with it.  So, the day after every class I would take my notes and redo the journeys at home.  I found that to feel complete with the journey, they were a sense of going "inward".  And they had a much different feel than the journeys I was being taught.  By the time I got toward the end of my 2nd level class, I allowed the inner or outer journney to happen...depending on the intention.  I just surrendered to trusting the process and let the world within unfold and grow.

The concept and practice of the Inner World has been one I've been teaching and soul crafting for a couple years now.  And from this place, the Inner World journey has been birthing itself as my own process of journeying.  It's ancestor is the Shamanic journey.  Its spirit carries shadows of the foundation brought to us by ancient ones.  It holds the elements and directions closely to it's heart.  It has it's own voice and process, and brings a unity of the other worlds into the universe of the soul.  It brings all elements into one world.  I've been doing this process of Inner World journey for several years now, and it only recently occurred to me to watch what I do and how I do it.  Holy ass smacks, it was cool!  It all unfolded so clearly that this is another way to journey, and from that moment on it has had a momentum and voice of it's own creating.  It wants to be shared, taught, explored and evolved.  So, I am listening, trusting and lifting the heaviness.  I am taking that leap by teaching this form of journeying along side the teaching of core Shamanic journey.  I have had clients express interest in learning how to journey, so I have put together a playshop on February 9th to do just that.  I will honor my roots and spread my wings as I open my heart for my soul's work to ooze out.

What does your soul want to create?

If you are interested in this playshop,  you can find it on my Facebook events page at www.facebook.com/inquirewithin.me OR on my website www.inquirewithin.me.  Next time you'll hear from me will be the first of February with your Inquire Within Monthly!  Have fun digging within, creating from soul, and dancing while you do it!

Cold Reflection

Last night, I sat outside watching the sun go down.  The sky was clear, the air cold, and my heart warmed by the depth of color painted across the horizon.  I found myself diving into the feeling of how beautiful life is.  That amongst the tension between left and right, and the global power struggle for who is the rightest of them all, there is peace and beauty in the moments that are connected to feeling my experience of nature.  And that in these moments I am free, I am whole, I am me without judgement or agenda. The strokes of orange-red, pink, and blue radiated vibrant joy in it's descent from my place on Earth.  The oak trees stood skeletal as they came alive with dark shadowing.  I could feel them pulled inside themselves, nestled into their root systems.  It reminded me to do the same...this is after all, the month of coldness and retreat and rest.  It's the time to eat less, rest more, embrace silence, explore solitude, and recharge every layer.  I am never bored or in lack of awe at the wisdom and guidance we gain from nature.  And when I slow down enough to hear her language, I am transported to the place within me that is the same power and wisdom of her.  For these moments, I am one with nature; a reflection of nature. And nature is a reflection of me.

I invite you to step into your breath and slow your pace.  What can you hear from nature?  What message is waiting for you?

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Who I am is what I do. I inquire within, heal, and craft my soul.  I offer energy medicine and empowerment coaching using Shamanic healing techniques and intuitive reflection.  I provide a sacred space to facilitate healing, workshops, growth, and discover your truth.  Contact me to schedule your guided journey to the wilderness of the inner world, where healing and who you are is waiting to be discovered!
Nissa Howard- Shamanic energy medicine, Soul crafter and wild woman.
 

Death Ceremony

~This post was actually not gonna come out until next Tuesday, but I feel a big push to post it now.  Mostly for my sisters in the SouLodge.  As we sit in the West together there has been much death and dying and release...so girls...this one is coming out early, just for you!~ For the better part of this year, I have felt a pull to create ceremony, ritual, passage.  I have many ideas swirling in my soul and one has finally birthed itself!  The inspiration has been a death ceremony as a way to lay to rest the you that you don't want to be anymore...the you that is no longer playing a positive role in creating a life you love...the you that has been on it's way out for a while but the ego is holding on to it.

A fortunate, unfortunate situation has popped up within the last month.  My dearest friend from Jr. High found herself in a place that really needed a death ceremony.  And true to the laws of the creating, timing is a big player in how and when your purpose is created.  As soon as my BFF entered this situation the download of details for this ceremony flooded in over a span of several days.  Excitement and power of transformation was bouncing my insides all over my outsides and I just knew this death ceremony had to be done, and has to be done more in the world.

She traveled to me for a time frame of several days, which now I am calling this time "soul rehab".   The first day produced healing on many levels.  We did extractions, spirit release, and soul retrieval.  Day two she accompanied me to a Yoga class I teach and that was a time to seal in the work from day one.  Later that night on day two,  the death ceremony was building and ready to GO!  So we entered my healing room and began.

We layed out two strips of butcher paper and taped them together.  As she lay on the sheet I asked if she had any last words to this skin and Self she was letting die.  She did, and with a true voice, declared her intention and gratitude....beautiful!  I began creating an energetic "coffin" around her as she imprinted her old Self into the paper, into the coffin.  I drew an outline of her form and she emerged for the next step.

With art supplies handy, the work began.  Locating a main source of suffering on the paper body, names and colors and art flowed out of her onto the paper self.  All the anger and pain and wounds boiling the blood and moving the energy OUT.  I began a wailing into the that spot, she followed with two, and that part was at peace and clean.  She powerfully and organically moved into other body parts, and letting those pains and programs have a true expression without judgment or blame.  Simple movement out of her and into the paper old Self.  Flowing gracefully she moved through the whole body...calling out demons, shutting up the liars, and slapping...stomping...yelling at the saboteurs.

And this played out until it was complete, all of the old Self out and into the paper.

The next part of the ceremony is to dismember this old Self, and she began with the head.   Ripping the paper through the throat, freeing her voice!  We cursed and swore and rejected all the things the old Self stored as she continued ripping the many body parts apart.  Her true Self expressing sovereignty and ownership of her body, mind, and soul.  When she was done, I looked at this lovely being and her face had changed.  Her eyes were a darker green.  She felt weightless as if I could see right through her.  She is new.

It was dark, and raining...a perfect cocktail to dig a grave.  So we collected all her old paper Self parts, bundled them together and that girl was digging as quickly as she could.  We threw her old Self into the ground, did a typical...we are gathered here tonight to honor the passing of....

Forgiveness was expressed in celebratory vibration. Then, the grave was covered and the party began.  A special party where we stomped on that grave, yipped to our Selves at congratulations, danced, shook, howled, and birthed a special song that I now believe will act as a mantra or affirmation for her to use to keep herself from recreating those old habits.  I won't share it here because if feels sacred and I know that each death ceremony I facilitate from here on out will have it's own sacred tool individual to that client.

My dearest friend met herSelf that day.  Met her truth, her light, and her power.  She just had to release and bury the parts of her that held contrary energy to her true Self.  I can now say with this death ceremony added to my energy medicine bag, the death and dying process is easy peasy and shouldn't be put off.  There is such an immediate renewal into the tangible realm of the power inside the soul.  There is such a relief and release, as if it was ages ago that my friend had that old Self living her life.  She left her "soul rehab" a full version of her true self, along with tricks and tools and tasks to keep her on point as she carves the trails in creating her life forward.  So cool....

Day three was all about the journey.  She learned how to journey to her true Self, her inner world landscape, and into her power.  She experienced and felt the qualities of who she really is from this place.  Then we crafted her a set of soul cards that are all hers to use when she needs remembering of her greatness.  She gained a power animal to guide and protect her on her journey of empowerment from healing.  She has several mantras and affirmations.  And is fully equipped to tackle life's obstacles with a new set of soul rules.  We occupied the empty space the death made with the qualities and ammunition to be who she really is.  An open, strong, intuitive Goddess.

I am ready and honored to facilitate this ceremony for anyone at a trans-formative place in their life.   And/or wanting to begin an annual, bi-annual, quarterly death to the "skin" that is no longer needed to roam free in the wild of the inner world.  Be ready to be wild, uninhibited, and loud!  You can contact me at inquirewithin.me@gmail to schedule a session for death, or life, or rebirth!

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In The Balance

Three mornings ago I was up by the moon light shining on my face.  I decided to heed her call, made the coffee, poured it into my favorite mug, swaddled myself in a blankie, and meandered onto my back balcony.   I leaned into the railing and drank in the silvery glow of the moon.  Her light caressed the leaves and fruits of my garden, while the darkness still danced on the underside of the plants.  I felt my face illuminated with the strong mystery of the moon, and I felt myself pull into the still of my inner world.  I remained in the silvery darkness, the powerful stillness, and allowed myself to go deeper and deeper.  Uncovering meaning in the moment. After simmering in this magic of the moon, the sun began to stretch his rays into the sky on the other side of the earth.  The moon was still out and radiating her beauty, but the light of day began to step up.  The garden still glowing silver, and with an added ingredient of a new day.  The Eastern horizon kept grabbing my attention from the direction of the moon, so back and forth my open eyes veered.  Back and forth my heart desired the illuminated darkness of the moon and the promised newness of the sun.  Back and forth my soul gathered the radiance and wisdom of both.

By now, the sun had reached an equal billing of power as the moon.  Both energies standing in perfect unity on this planet without one being greater than the other.  This was a brief moment, but a profound moment that brought me to a place of balance I had not yet experienced.   A place of balance within that gave me a fresh pair of eyes to view myself with, a new voice to forgive myself with, and a new door in my soul to open and explore the world within.  This moment has been percolating for days, unfolding more and more of the whole picture that was in this moment of balance.

Then...it shifted...the moon kissed the sun and the sky good night,  turned her attention away and began a journey downward.  The sun grew in his power and the warmth began to glow.  The leaves and fruits of my garden were caressed in golden morning rays as the shadows lightened underneath.   A sense of rebirth, purity, new beginnings, and growth filled up the sky, the earth, the rest of the morning.  What an incredible gift this time of year is, this autumn, this fall.  It is delicious to the sense and food for the crafting of a soul.

As I have sat in the feelings and ideas and messages of that morning, I am in grand inspiration for the perfection of nature around us as it holds up a mirror to our soul....

How can we be in balance within us, holding the equal power of both the dark and the light?

How can we surrender to accepting and living our truth and not be out of balance with it?

How truly unwounded we are in the center of the light and the dark!

What do we need to let go of, and what do we need to let shine?

What can we do to feed the strength of our inner balance, so we root deeply into who we authentically are?

I invite you to journal your own thoughts or responses to these questions, and I challenge you to welcome the questions your soul asks after you answer these question.  Blessed be!

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