Do you have a Word for the year?

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create2014 We are nearing the end of January. Did you do new years resolutions? If yes, how many of them are still in play? If no, why not?

I broke up with new years resolutions YEARS ago because I realized the failure and self disappointment I felt when they fell short was not worth feeling. At the end of 2012, I saw on the Facebook world women announcing their word for the upcoming 2013 year.  So I stalked their posts and clicked on the free downloads to guide one to their word of the year. I found it to be kinda-crazy-awesome. I loved the idea of working with one word for a whole year. To have a simple focus on it. To have a complex understanding of it through experience and life.

2013...my word was opportunity. And the ripples of experience met with holding myself present in order to bring in the focus of opportunity. I found all the heavy challenges thrown my way as opportunities, therefore I responded to them more positively. I found the awesome moment more vibrant and magical, therefore I allowed myself to feel the joy and fun more. It was a roller coaster year that I look back on as incredible learning and wisdom and self exploration. Looking back at 2013, I feel connected to opportunity and realize I created a relationship to it, and I let it change me. A-ha! I finally feel an accomplished and successful resolution played out in my life. I had to simplify my focus to amplify my results.

Simple doesn't mean easy.

And I value the lessons of my opportunities because this is true for me. Building a relationship to opportunity in a simple way brought me to the complexities of understanding deeply what opportunity is. For me, it became a work out for my "space holding" muscles. It became a wide open field for me to run free in. It became a nurturing cave to lick my wounds and begin again. Gratitude doesn't even scratch the surface.

Entering 2014, finding my word was much like being in a labyrinth.  Searching in one direction, following the scent and BAM, a wall....nope, this isn't the one. But I kept following the scent. I had to dig deep and I found myself surrounded by the truth of a word that scares the shit out of me a bit. This word takes me to deeply disappointed places where judgements, criticisms, and abandonment have very loud voices. Stepping into the home of this word and these voices will require me to allow myself to be emotional, vulnerable, and warrior....terrifying; a battle for more. It incites anxiety and excitement and child like open-hearted-ness. It will require me to own it, take credit, and give. And this word is....

CREATE

This month of getting to know my word I have been on the "first date" high. We giggle and play and flirt. And I have been giving it full attention, which is why I haven't blogged in over a month. I am already creating. I am looking forward every day while staying present...in the moment...performing the tasks of creating.  Held by constant flow of inspiration and dreams. Held in the accomplishments of: book content, art-work for divination cards, loving moments with my family, and forgiveness for the judgey critics. Feels good.

Do you have a word for the year? Share it here! Do you want one? Below are the links I used to guide me through discovering mine.

http://www.susannahconway.com/2013/12/lets-make-some-magic-in-2014/

http://christinekane.com/how-to-make-2014-successful-prosperous-and-magical/

 

A Love Letter to Love

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So, I wonder if any of you wondered if you were missing a video this month of August....It's not lost in the google/gmail restructuring.

CONFESSION: my muse was on vacation.

And I have to say that since last month's video of living/speaking unscripted...I just couldn't force it and feel good about the end product.  Plus there was the Telepathic Communication Practicum I was heavily involved with and just this week my Hubby fractured a vertebrae so that has my life on slip and slide mode.  Which isn't so bad when you inject the unscripted practice into crisis...there has been less shit for me to clean up by way of really saying what is true and not what is "scripted" AND by way of having presence in every moment more and more.

So when it comes to not getting that promised video out...I'm in a place of "it's okay" and "I'd be more proud of it when it's authentic, so I'm not forcing this".

I trust you all understand and I hope you take this as inspiration to treat yourself the same way.

I have been lucky enough to be granted an online Spirit Writing course by Amy Lee Czadzeck. And up until Practicum camp time I was at week 4 in the 8 week course.  This course makes my head buzz and hum and tingle...literally.  I feel held in the discovery of my writing.  I feel held BY my writing. Anyway... I am playing catch up and working on week 5 which has the prompt of writing a love letter.

So I wrote a love letter to Love.

Dear Love,

It has occurred to me that I don't show you enough appreciation for your presence in my life.  I haven't given you the love or credit you deserve.  Today, I write this love letter to you and trust that it will nourish you.

You have been in my life since the beginning...before the beginning.  You have been an undercurrent of power and life force behind every tiny moment of my life. I'm beginning to realize that behind every trauma, drama, wound...behind every mask I have ever had or encountered, you are found at some layer of these things.  You just are there; waiting, listening, flowing, holding, and loving.  I feel like you are always there for me and I want to tell you that I know I haven't always been there for you.  I love you for having a limitless source for me to connect to.  This is such a beautiful and authentic power that makes you YOU.

How can you always be there in service to every moment of life? I am fascinated by this and want to know more about how you are YOU and Love...you are perfect.  You are clean.  You are beauty. You are what makes everything whole.

You flow through the light and the dark...bringing your SELF as an available life force.

I want to let you know that I would not be here without you.  I give you this gift: I choose to see you, love you, and allow you to flow through all my moments. I want to have you, feel you, know you, and show you.

I am ecstatic to have you in my life. I desire to deepen our relationship.  Thank you for hanging in there with me, loving me, as I untie the binds of resistance to you.

Sincerely, Nissa

Anyway...I totally recommend this course when she offers it again.  (click on her name to go to her website)

What is your relationship to Love?

 

 

 

 

 

Back to Reflection

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My last post about perception and reflection was derailed by my own awareness of Self, which needed to be honored and heard; my wish is that this gave you a map or template from which to monitor your own stuff and turn it into something useful and good.  So, today I would like to re-rail this topic and dive into using it as a soul crafting tool.  You may (or may not) remember that it all started with this quote:

Your perception of me is a reflection of you. My reaction to you is an awareness of me.~askcoachbobbi.com

The first sentence of this was one of those light-switch moments of freedom from outside judgements and projections.  I notice that turning this idea into action keeps the weight of these outside influences out of my energy fields. And it keeps them out by the reflection aspect behaving like a repellant.  It sends the outside judgement back to the sender.  I also noticed that in this state of energetic freedom I am able to hear the other person better, not take their judgments personally, and hold my own strong center in dealing with them.  Holding a strong center for me is key to speaking my truth.  If I'm not in the center of my inner world, my truth is subject to the lies of others' illusions.  This can come in handy in SO many inter-personal relationships.  How many times have you taken on someone else's judgment of yourself and let that self-talk take you down a road that isn't even yours?  Have you ever taken to heart something your partner said about you as a truth, but in fact is their own wounds and triggers using perception of others to have a voice?  I know I sure have. This action of reflection also keeps the lines of energy clean and true.  What is yours is yours, and what is mine is mine.

This whole "perception is a reflection of you" thing bit me in the ass big time with my hubby.  I was being really critical of him one day, saying horrible and stupid things; when it hit me that my perception of him is a reflection of me.  The stuff I was saying to him was actually things that I do, and don't do.  I had to stop, process, apologize and forgive myself.  (gulp)  Then I had to speak my truth of it, I am the one who always..... I am the one who doesn't consider.... and so on. Pride took a hard fall that day, but I really experienced the power of this perception/reflection tool, and the responsibility of using it as well. 

Be careful to not judge others for judging you...judging others for judging you is simply perceiving them as a reflection of you. 

See, it's not balanced and right to think that you are never the problem...that it is always someone else's stuff influencing you.  I am realizing that the "return to sender" reflection is the first step; it keeps the energy boundaries clean between people (remember: what is theirs is theirs; what is mine is mine).  But then I'm noticing that within the the individual energy field, you must check in with what small aspect of you is the mirror of which the outside perception was reflecting.  This is where my Inquire Within magic really gets things poppin' and brings to life step 2. You have to look at that mirror within which triggered the outside perception; why is it there?  Is it still necessary for who you are?  Does it give you the material you need to soul craft?  Is it true?  Was it ever?  Does it need to be healed and released?  Does it need to be fed, nourished, and have a voice?  I think that conflict, criticism, or anything comes to you for a reason.  Which is why I love being able to hand back to the outside world what isn't mine; stay observant of my own inner world free and clear as to what I need to do to craft my soul...and my life...and who I am.

now, after those two steps.....

The second sentence of this quote is where the juicy empowerment begins to shine in the dark.  Choosing a {reaction/non-reaction/opinion/etc,} that is a truth from the awareness you gained by inquiring within to the inner mirror.  Action always brings empowerment to life.  You must actively choose from your awareness of your self. 

Now, let's put it all together....
  • Someone criticizes you for something you do. (their perception coming your way)
  • You notice it coming at you. You may feel nervous, angry, invaded, hurt, etc.  This is your indicator to "return to sender" by remembering that this is a reflection of themselves.  (be careful to not label what that is for them...that is theirs) 
  • In the clean, free, and clear space of your own stuff you look at the backside of that mirror they were looking at when they perceived you.  Something in you triggered them, what is it?  Is it necessary? Does it need fed or released? Could this criticism be true on some level, and could it be something worth looking at and using?
  • So, now you can see the criticism from your own eyes and not the eyes of the outside perception which is chalked full of someone else's wounds or ignorance's.  From your own perception of this reflection, you can choose what is true for you and how to react from an authentic place with a powerful voice.

Ahh, that just feels good.  Bringing it all back to the inner world just brings me to a solid, powerful, peaceful point of view.  I hope it does for you too.  If so, I challenge you to work this process next time you feel an outside perception of you being reflected, then let me know!  I'd love to hear from your experiences on the comment section of this post.

 

Nissa Howard is a soul crafter, writer, wild woman intuitive and the owner of Inquire Within; a sacred space of awakening, healing, digging deep, and discovering your truth.  She offers energy medicine and empowerment coaching using Shamanic healing techniques and intuitive reflection.  By providing sacred space to facilitate healing, workshops, growth, and discovering inner truth, she is a guide and technician into the wilderness of the inner world, where who you are is waiting to be discovered and where soul crafting takes root. Her goal is to empower others to empower themselves. The mind thinks, the heart feel, let the soul choose. Contact her today to schedule and appointment or register for a playshop. www.inquirewithin.me

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sneak peak into my own shit!

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Your perception of me is a reflection of you. My reaction to you is an awareness of me.~askcoachbobbi.com I love this quote.  I have this quote on my fridge.  I have used this quote as advice and as medicine.  I have had this quote bite me in the ass with my hubby when I realized my perception of him was a reflection of me.  (yep, that one stung a bit).  This quote has been an ah-ha game changer in my Self as it has freed me to not take things personally.  Or I should say it gave me the affirmational voice in my head to focus on when I began to take something personally.  This may not be the only time I write about this quote as I have found it applies to many topics.

Lately I've been mucking through this topic of "taking a day off".  It's a hot one right now in my life since I've been hearing it from so many people.  From people I love and I know love me and I feel that they have valid concern, as I have been working an ass ton....and I love it!  Truth be told, I find gettin' 'er done and working on building this career of mine a creative outlet.  When I'm in a creative flow I am inspired, excited, learning, growing, challenging myself, and feel like I have purpose.  It's hard to just walk away from all that feel-good momentum.  Plus, building a career, writing a book, self-marketing, yada-yada-yada takes work, focus, and sacrifice of time.  Whoa, kinda sounds like I'm trying to justify it...doesn't it?  Well, instead of backspacing and deleting that last sentence (in bold), I can use this as a teachable moment. Here's the lesson kids: when you have an awareness of yourself not speaking your truth, then you must STOP, ask yourself "who", "what", "how".

Who am I trying to convince?  "the exhausted part of me that is tired and running on empty.  I feel this in my mind and it's thinking tank is getting low...it's thunk way too much, for too long with and needs refueling."

What is really true for me? "to take some worries and fears off the table.  I can feel these taking up the thinking reserves that I want to have for my work. Everything before that bold sentence is true for me and to keep it true I must have fuel to let it continue living true for me"

How do I bring this into my truth? "first; locate, identify, and heal the heart of the worries and fear. Second; schedule some time off!"

Funny, this is not how I thought this post would go, however, a teachable moment is hard to pass up.  And my desire is that you are inspired to use this example to benefit you too!  I am chuckling at the irony of it all.  So...what just happened here?  I caught myself delivering a sentence that didn't flow as truth to my Self.  And instead of pretending it didn't happen, I used the STOP; who, what, how, truth exploration tool.  In doing so, I can see and acknowledge that I do in fact need rest and bring some of my energy resources into a full and balanced state.  I already feel less buzzing in my mind, I feel more relaxed, and I feel more deserving of the time of.  All because I took the few moments necessary to look at what is true to my Self.  Wow, this never gets old or less amazing.  Instant relief, different perspective, and the answers to my questions have given me a map of what I need to work on.  Looks like I'll be doing some energy medicine on myself this week!  I need to see what wound or imbalance is using worry and fear to take up my thinking energy...and why it has decided to present itself now.  Then I will heal it from there.  I'm thinking a dose of extraction followed by thought form/belief re-programming; a dash of power filling, and a topping of soul retrieval and I will get this tank full again.

To honor this process and the reflected answers to the "who, what, how" part one of the "how" answer is to do some energy medicine on those worries and fear (have that scheduled for myself on Thursday). Secondly, I have looked at my calendar and have found a weekend in June that I will take as my "time off".  I plan on hitting the road with my mattress in the truck bed, my food, my camping supplies and my laptop for writing.  I want to hit some campgrounds.  Hike, write, and eat.  (my version of eat, pray, love)  And for anyone who is thinking that writing is still working...well, is that your perception of me.....?

Since my original thought topic has been derailed by that sentence of non-truth, let's put this train back on the track for the next post. It is not lost on me that I began discussing a day off which indicates self-care, and I have ended up writing about how to take care of the Self in the moment. HAHA.  Seriously, this is too much fun.

Till next time..

Death Ceremony

~This post was actually not gonna come out until next Tuesday, but I feel a big push to post it now.  Mostly for my sisters in the SouLodge.  As we sit in the West together there has been much death and dying and release...so girls...this one is coming out early, just for you!~ For the better part of this year, I have felt a pull to create ceremony, ritual, passage.  I have many ideas swirling in my soul and one has finally birthed itself!  The inspiration has been a death ceremony as a way to lay to rest the you that you don't want to be anymore...the you that is no longer playing a positive role in creating a life you love...the you that has been on it's way out for a while but the ego is holding on to it.

A fortunate, unfortunate situation has popped up within the last month.  My dearest friend from Jr. High found herself in a place that really needed a death ceremony.  And true to the laws of the creating, timing is a big player in how and when your purpose is created.  As soon as my BFF entered this situation the download of details for this ceremony flooded in over a span of several days.  Excitement and power of transformation was bouncing my insides all over my outsides and I just knew this death ceremony had to be done, and has to be done more in the world.

She traveled to me for a time frame of several days, which now I am calling this time "soul rehab".   The first day produced healing on many levels.  We did extractions, spirit release, and soul retrieval.  Day two she accompanied me to a Yoga class I teach and that was a time to seal in the work from day one.  Later that night on day two,  the death ceremony was building and ready to GO!  So we entered my healing room and began.

We layed out two strips of butcher paper and taped them together.  As she lay on the sheet I asked if she had any last words to this skin and Self she was letting die.  She did, and with a true voice, declared her intention and gratitude....beautiful!  I began creating an energetic "coffin" around her as she imprinted her old Self into the paper, into the coffin.  I drew an outline of her form and she emerged for the next step.

With art supplies handy, the work began.  Locating a main source of suffering on the paper body, names and colors and art flowed out of her onto the paper self.  All the anger and pain and wounds boiling the blood and moving the energy OUT.  I began a wailing into the that spot, she followed with two, and that part was at peace and clean.  She powerfully and organically moved into other body parts, and letting those pains and programs have a true expression without judgment or blame.  Simple movement out of her and into the paper old Self.  Flowing gracefully she moved through the whole body...calling out demons, shutting up the liars, and slapping...stomping...yelling at the saboteurs.

And this played out until it was complete, all of the old Self out and into the paper.

The next part of the ceremony is to dismember this old Self, and she began with the head.   Ripping the paper through the throat, freeing her voice!  We cursed and swore and rejected all the things the old Self stored as she continued ripping the many body parts apart.  Her true Self expressing sovereignty and ownership of her body, mind, and soul.  When she was done, I looked at this lovely being and her face had changed.  Her eyes were a darker green.  She felt weightless as if I could see right through her.  She is new.

It was dark, and raining...a perfect cocktail to dig a grave.  So we collected all her old paper Self parts, bundled them together and that girl was digging as quickly as she could.  We threw her old Self into the ground, did a typical...we are gathered here tonight to honor the passing of....

Forgiveness was expressed in celebratory vibration. Then, the grave was covered and the party began.  A special party where we stomped on that grave, yipped to our Selves at congratulations, danced, shook, howled, and birthed a special song that I now believe will act as a mantra or affirmation for her to use to keep herself from recreating those old habits.  I won't share it here because if feels sacred and I know that each death ceremony I facilitate from here on out will have it's own sacred tool individual to that client.

My dearest friend met herSelf that day.  Met her truth, her light, and her power.  She just had to release and bury the parts of her that held contrary energy to her true Self.  I can now say with this death ceremony added to my energy medicine bag, the death and dying process is easy peasy and shouldn't be put off.  There is such an immediate renewal into the tangible realm of the power inside the soul.  There is such a relief and release, as if it was ages ago that my friend had that old Self living her life.  She left her "soul rehab" a full version of her true self, along with tricks and tools and tasks to keep her on point as she carves the trails in creating her life forward.  So cool....

Day three was all about the journey.  She learned how to journey to her true Self, her inner world landscape, and into her power.  She experienced and felt the qualities of who she really is from this place.  Then we crafted her a set of soul cards that are all hers to use when she needs remembering of her greatness.  She gained a power animal to guide and protect her on her journey of empowerment from healing.  She has several mantras and affirmations.  And is fully equipped to tackle life's obstacles with a new set of soul rules.  We occupied the empty space the death made with the qualities and ammunition to be who she really is.  An open, strong, intuitive Goddess.

I am ready and honored to facilitate this ceremony for anyone at a trans-formative place in their life.   And/or wanting to begin an annual, bi-annual, quarterly death to the "skin" that is no longer needed to roam free in the wild of the inner world.  Be ready to be wild, uninhibited, and loud!  You can contact me at inquirewithin.me@gmail to schedule a session for death, or life, or rebirth!

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Me, and my Shaaadow!

Stars can't shine without the darkness. ~unknown~ I am currently enrolled in a 5 week course through a terrific site called SouLodge.  In this autumn season the lodge session is focusing on shadow work.  It is a dark, delicious realm of my inner world that has surprisingly opened my heart.  I went into this course thinking it would be a dirty, gutted, heavy journey.  So far, every interaction with my shadow and my darkness has brought me an uplifted-ness and fullness I wasn't expecting.  Although, I guess I am getting what I expected, just in a different expression of it.  I'm dirty with mud of playfulness, I'm gutted in the sense that I want my light to be spilling out from my center at all times, and I am heavy with a nourished soul.

My unexpected reaction to this work has me wondering why shadow work brings me so much happiness?  The shadow isn't shrinking or having more light to take over the darkness.  My shadow is presenting me with so many slaps and punches, and I am giddy when they hit.  I take them in and throw them into my inner cauldron like ingredients to yummy cookies...anxiously drooling in the wait for the end result of warm, chewy goodness.

My mind says: "What is so delicious about getting punched and slapped with my own shit?"

My heart says: "How and Why does the pain/fear/etc, open me?"

My soul says: "It's like finding a kidnapped child... it is a part of you returning home for love and care and safety."

Some of the journeys I've done for my work in SouLodge have brought me some great messages, visuals, and insights.  I would like to share them here.

  • Our darkness, our shadow, is a place for us to recharge and know more of what makes us shine.  It is a place within to gather our purpose, heighten our senses, gain strength, and to FEEL deeper.  Cultural conditioning, wounds, traumas, etc. can project our shadow as a predator which instills fear, but the shadow is NOT to be feared. It is not a predator, the ego and the need to be right are predators.
  • My shadow is the night time, my unwounded wild Self is the day time.  Reflection: each time cycle has its purpose in our outer world, and the same goes for the inner world.  Let the day time shine life giving light, let the night time radiate it's mystery. Together they are in perfect harmony.  Not allowing the shadow to live it's portion of the time cycle creates the imbalance the ego needs to project a predator into the psyche.
  • Shadow is sacred.  My shadow is full and nourished, I listen to it very well, I embrace it openly.  What is getting in my way is the egoic mind chatter of wounded-ness.  The egoic fear that puts up unnecessary walls.  The egoic search for meaning and approval outside of myself.
  • My shadow is the inner healer for my egoic wounds.  My true self is the inner healer for my heart.  And my soul is the inner world landscape where all of this resides.

Shadow work is sacred soul work to clean up the egoic trash that litters the pristine forest of my inner world.  For all the slaps and punches I'm taking right now from my shadow, I am deeply grateful for the pain, the learning, the wisdom, the growth, and the healing.

For more on these SouLodge sessions, go to www.soulodge.com

For more on my work in the realm of empowerment, go to www.inquirewithin.me

Blessings of shadow whispering truth to you, and the healing it is always doing on the ego! And so it is!