Be Where You Are, part 2


In a previous post titled: Be where you are, I touched on the concept of not hiding from emotions, and surrendering to the lessons of the moment with awareness and growth.  This topic is complicated in it's layers and challenges.  Which is why I feel drawn to continue the "conversation". The relief of giving yourself permission to "be where you are" is a strong pull to seeing what is true in each moment from an internal, expanded, and authentic place.  This relief and expansion of vision isn't without it's challenges.  One, being intentionally conscious and aware of your thoughts and emotions.  Two, being able to stop in that moment and turn inside. Three (but not last), in that moment acting and choosing differently from previous patterns.  It is unrealistic and unfair to yourself to think that you will be perfect at being where you are just because you want to be.  It's okay to mess up, we all do.  Part of being where you are is owning those perfect mistakes and choosing an approach to solving them in a way you will be proud of and feels right to you.

One, being intentionally conscious and aware of your thoughts and emotions.  Our mind is an astounding mechanism that has many functions. These functions are necessary to a point, but in excess can leave our bodies stressed. In relation to this topic I want to highlight the functions of the mind that are reactive with behavior patterns, on a verbal loop of negative thoughts, hyper-analytical tracks, etc.   In our culture, we tend to get so attached to our goals, responsibilities, pressures, and keeping up, that the mind is on non stop chatter.   It is a challenge to be aware of thoughts because there are so many happening at once.  But, this is where the emotions come in.  If you are feeling a strong emotion or even a subtle one; it is an indicator, or barometer for where you are.  See, your thoughts can be on constant loud volume, but your feelings, emotions, instincts will at some point well up and give you the nudge to stop...turn down the volume...and listen.  If you want to exercise the ability of being aware, and quieting the self, start with using your feelings and emotions as your wake up call to be where you are. Feel, stop, listen.

Two, being able to stop in that moment and turn inside.  Once you have paused into the feeling or thought that you are aware of, it is important to be intentional with where you are.  Do you want to change the thought due to it hurting you?  Is the pain being felt so it can be acknowledged and healed?  Do you want another perspective? Etc.  This part of the process is the  time I usually ask myself, is this true?  Sometimes I get a whole new set of truths, and sometimes I get a "hell yeah it's true, but go about another way".  Either answer allows me to move forward proud of myself for checking in and confirming what is true for me.  Then I usually ask myself follow up questions for clarity or guidance.  The benefit of the mind being so quick is that these questions and answers can happen within a breath.  And the more you practice it, the faster the flow of information.

Three, in that moment acting and choosing differently from previous patterns.  I believe this is where empowerment takes flight.  The way we have been taught to behave or believe only has hold on us as long as we choose it to.  Once you become aware of a thought or feeling you want to change, you inquire within to communicate with your Self to see what's true or not, then you step out of these patterns and choose a thought or feeling that gives you a full and empowered path forward.  Seek out your truths, they are in every moment with you...waiting to be felt or heard.

From a shamanic perspective, being in balance is where life and health thrive.  Using the concept of being where you are, and adding in these three steps, you have a starting line for creating that balance.  It is difficult for some to do this on there own, and for that I am available for private sessions to guide and support you.

Bee That As It May...


I am not unlike many people when it comes to bees.  I get nervous when they come around, I move from where I am to avoid their presence, I smack them dead every chance I get.  

Until the last bit of summer this year when I was on my deck absorbing the sun and reading a book.  It was a perfect summer afternoon situation full of relaxation and reflection.  This bee stealthily landed on the top of my book.  My innate behavior kicked in as I swat at it with the typical jolt of breath and body.  The thing didn't budge.  I went to smack it dead and I stopped in mid swat because this wave of calm flash-flooded through me, and a voice inside said "wait, listen, watch, feel".


I sat back into my chair and opened myself to this bee.  My vision set upon it like a magnet, and I felt a connection to this little honey maker.  I imagined a day in the life of a bee; the work, the sweetness they produce to provide food for their families and I remember reading that honey is the only made in nature food that doesn't kill anything to produce.  This filled me with a sweetness in the heart that dropped me deeper into the connection.  I allowed myself to see the busyness of his life, his honey-making, and even the busyness of his wings in his flight.  I reflected this back to myself and wondered where I could be more useful and productive, where in my life could I make more sweetness?  At some point during this awareness, the little guy maneuvered himself on my book to be facing me.  No fear from either of us, just an understanding.  I went back to reading and he stayed on my book for another chapter.  I found myself half reading because I still felt this kind of weight to his presence, like a hug, and I wanted to keep absorbing his lessons energetically.  I didn't get up until he left.


My brain kicked in with the question of "what does a bee symbolize?"  "What did this mean?"  I went to searching the all-knowing internet, and found this little snippet:


Fertility and the Honey of Life, Accomplishing the Impossible


Bees are the symbol of fertility and sexuality. Its honeycomb, a hexagon, is the symbol of the heart and represents the sweetness of life found within our own heart. It is also the symbol of the sun and all its energies.

The bee reminds us to extract the honey of life and to make our lives fertile (productive) while the sun shines. No matter how great the dream is, there is the promise of fulfillment if we pursue our dreams.

If a Bee has shown up in your life, examine your own productivity. Are you doing all you can to make your life more fertile? Are you busy enough? Are you making time to savor the honey of life and not becoming a workaholic?

The Bee is the symbol of accomplishing the impossible. Aerodynamically, its body is too large for its wings and should not be able to fly. Although now we understand how it does fly (high rate of wing movement), the Bee remains a symbol of accomplishing anything you put your mind to.

In Hinduism, the Bee relates to Vishnu, Krishna or Kama, the God of Love. In Egypt, the Bee symbolized royalty. In Greece, it was the symbol of the Eleusinian Mysteries. The Celts associated the Bee with hidden wisdom.



Needless to say I was pretty happy that my reflection matched the productive part.  And ya know what? That bee was right, I hadn't been applying motivation or inspiration fully into my work.   I had been telling myself that my whole vision is impossible to do right now while I homeschool my daughter.  But again, this bee was right, I can accomplish anything I put my mind to.  I allowed all this to refuel my fire about my work, and my passion for it.  Yes, my daughter comes first, but there is so much time in a day that I can fill up with the busy sweetness of my purpose.  Thank you bee.


Since this day, bee has been following me and I see it so differently.  Even when I was deer hunting earlier this month, bee was in my hair more than once and other people where trying to swat it out.  I simply stopped them and said it was okay, they are reminding me of something.  Yesterday, in the garden, bee was on my arm, on my shovel, in my hair, and buzzing around.  Didn't swat or startle.  I am so grateful to have the ability to listen, feel, learn and grow.  Thank you bee.


A very dear friend always ends her emails with a perfect salutation that compliments this topic. I don't think she'll mind if I use it this once. Much love to her. "Honey in the heart"...isn't that beautiful?  The bee makes us squeal and contort our bodies to make way, and revives fear in our being.  I hope that this story inspires you to see bee as a productive sweetness maker that can achieve the impossible, and to see everything from a deeper place of question and reflection.  For there is much to see in this miraculous nature-filled Earth.


Blessed be,


Do You Hear That? Is It A Roar?


So, why is it we try to only feel and show emotions labeled "good"?  Who are we fooling, really? Who are we trying to convince, really?  

We are molded through a system of reward that "good girls" don't do this..."good boys" do that.  This programming runs deep into our emotional map, but is it serving us as we carve our own passion's voice and path in our life?   What if our highest potential or our life's purpose requires us to piss some people off?  Yet, the stand we take to speak our truth is as necessary and essential to our life as the air we breath? In fact without that stand, without that roar from our authentic self, our light will suffocate and die out.


I realize that the outer world we live in has many restraints and judgments on those who dare to be different and challenge the conformity of social norm.  However, this isn't the way of the inner world where our authentic self lives and our truth is the language we speak.  I realize that when we aren't comfortable with our own empowerment and truth seeking we easily hide in the PC box and suffocate our roar.  Some would say it's easy...but how easy is it to slowly suffocate and live a light-less life?  How can it be easy to feel amplified anxiety and panic as your authentic self breaths less and less air?  How can it be easy to have your body manifest illness and disease because you are in this constant state of panic and lack of self truth?


Is it scary to stand up and speak your truthful language? Sure!


Could it be lonely when people exit your life because your truth language reminds them that they aren't willing to find their own roar and speak their own truth language? Sure!


Is it terrifying to be flooded with life changes that are necessary for creating a new inner landscape that nourishes your truth? Absolutely.


Is it uncomfortable to feel and show your raw and truthful emotions when you are used to locking them up?  Well, that is for you to decide.  Personally, I love the thrill and the rush of exploring new aspects and lands of my wild self.


I have lived through and know that all the scary, the terrifying, the uncomfortable is worth it because I now live and speak from my inner world and the vast resources it offers.  And I live there in deep gratitude for life, nature, and deep breaths.


I have found amazing happiness in letting my "good girl" die and creating an inner world that nurtures my roar.  I am okay with not always being popular, because I am okay with being my wild, authentic self.


The question for today is: do you hear a roar inside you?

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Be Where you Are


Be where you are.  A phrase with possible confusion to geographical reference, but in this case it will have a meaning of embracing your mental, emotional, or energetic state of being in any given moment or situation. Be where you are...sounds so simple, doesn't it?  Sounds so freeing, doesn't it?  This is something I often tell myself and my clients, and it usually has a very grounding and introspective effect.  As if this phrase triggers a "freeze" command from the inner Self to take a moment and discover where you are, so you know where to be.  In this "freeze" the simple concept becomes layers of awareness to filter through.  The freedom becomes a download of observations and choices, and there is empowerment through intention and choice.  All of this within a breath of being where you are.

I love this phrase because it challenges the denial mechanism of the ego, allowing you to release the mind chatter of the ego by being in your truth of the moment or emotion. It challenges your intentional awareness to rise up and have a vision, and a voice in that moment.  And I find it challenges the inner Self (authentic Self) to take ownership of what you are creating, thereby giving you choices to intentionally redesign what you are creating.

It is common nowadays for people to be so overloaded with external information that they aren't really sure where they are, or how to sit in it.  For example, feelings of sadness or grief.  How many times have you felt sad and you cover it up with a smile to "fake it till you make it"? When was the last time you felt anger and let the patterns of your upbringing talk you into avoiding conflict?  How often do you reach for a movie, TV, or social networking to pull your attention to other peoples lives, so you don't have to feel yours?  Sure...sadness, anger, or feeling less than aren't a day at the spa, but they are a piece of our human experience.  In truth, feeling EVERY emotion is a gift of knowledge and learning that we have the honor of experiencing in life.

Just today, I was a bit out of sorts. Kinda cranky this morning.  My hubby politely observed that I was being awfully touchy and asked why.  In that moment, I took a deep breath and felt where I was.  I surrendered to my cranky and just immersed myself in it.  I felt the layers of egoic mind chatter about some thoughts I needed to release.  I realized that I had full power in where I was to choose to listen to the mind chatter and let it hold me hostage, or choose to let go of those thoughts that aren't making me happy and move into a lighter, happier day.  And it felt great to have the choice, and even better when I released those thoughts that weren't doing me any good.  It encourages me that the shift happens so swiftly when I don't allow denial of my emotions to keep me from where I am, and living fully in every moment.

I invite everyone to surrender to where you are in each moment, fearlessly be where you are and create choices for yourself and the situation.  Endless possibilities available to you...where you are!

Skin Tells a Story

This year I have taken on the task of learning how to scrap the hair and flesh from deer and elk hides.  It is a labor of rebirth that completes my hunting cycle down to my bones. The scraping process takes a hide and turns it into rawhide, with rawhide I make rattles and drums.  For me, this has brought an honor to the animal in a way I couldn't have imagined.  Life is a cycle of life, death, rebirth.  My hunting now feels like an equal to the life cycle and it fills my heart with humility.

The physical work to scrape a hide with hand tools is purifying and meditative.  It's as though the sweat and back ache is telling the animal's sacrifice of life "I'm giving of my body as you have given of yours".  This awareness boiled up from inside me as I was scraping the flesh, and I felt a connection to life so strong I cried.  Isn't it interesting to connect to life in a remnant of death?  Doesn't it make sense to honor the life given to you?  Whether that is in death or in living, whether that is your life or the life of an animal?

The day I was working with that hide, I felt a crack in the time-space continuum.  For hours that felt like minutes the skin of the deer told me a story.  The inside of the hide told me how well fed he was from all the fat attached to the flesh.  I found a layer of meat underneath some fat that I usually don't see in deer because they aren't usually this fat.  This surprise layer of muscle told me that he had migrated well and had built extra muscle to accommodate the long distances he had traveled.

The outside of the hide carried scars that held a novel.  One scar was hefty in width and quite long.  It told me of how this wound was made by his body moving under a sharp and stable object.  It was a wound of youthful distraction.  A small, round scar recanted a rut season with hormones running high and the game of love as painful, but worth it. The part of the hide that would have covered the shoulder carried a series of scratches that were equal in distance and length.  The story here is one of battle, of survival, of the freedom in being wild.

Later that day, after a shower, I was enjoying the exhaustion of my work. From my deck, you can see my back yard and the huge undeveloped lot beyond.  It is rich with grass, broom, and blackberries.  Along comes the mama deer and her fawn that frequent this lot for food.  The animation of her hide and fur was a beautiful contrast to the hide I had so deeply connected with just hours before.  It reminded me of the cliche "life goes on", which made me chuckle with a snarky "duh".  The fawn was bounding in play, and learning through observation of its mother, how to be a deer.  Their communication was silent and profound.

I felt overwhelmed with gratitude and joy at the deer/human communication I had the honor of having that day.  So filled was I that I felt outside of my skin and bigger than this Earth.  And from that perspective I saw my hide no different than the deer's hide.   It is made up of the same proteins, the same molecules. The fat and muscle I took off is made up of the same chains and acids.  My life is no more special or sacred as the deer's. We are equal in life, death, rebirth, and I excitedly share this planet with them.

What's under your skin?  What stories will your hide tell?  How well do you carry your scars?  Do you see them as survival, or trauma?  Think of your soul as having a skin and ask these same questions about your soul skin.  Write, observe and embrace your answers...they are your story.  And life goes on.

The Reset Button of Mourning


Right after my last Blog posting, a friend of my daughters' was killed.  She was 11 years old, and her mother strangled her.  This event has made for an interesting couple of weeks.  It seems as though life has had a reset button pushed and everything is different between my daughter and I. From the way I talk to my daughter, to the way she has had her concept of "mother" challenged.  From how unexpected bursts of emotion stop us in our tracks to how being each others' support moves us towards heart laughter.  From the way my daughters' innate wisdom has acted out in owning a balance of pain while choosing to smile.  To the uncharted territory I had to explore in order to create a space for my daughter to mourn in her own way, uninhibited. Full disclosure will have me telling you that the first several days of this mourning was hard, surreal, and a jumbled mess in my mind.  And the choices I made in those days was solely to be in emotional and spiritual support of my daughter BEing in whatever state she was in.  In this support, I was  faced with many moments of my own childhood when I didn't have a safe space to feel authentically, or I had to perform in accordance with a dogmatic set of rules: which left me disconnected and skiddish to trust.   As these memories flashed in the mirror of my inner world, it fueled my fire to create a safe space for my girl to pave her own unique and true process to mourn.  And in this environment of freedom she wailed, raged with anger and confusion, and sobbed with sadness for those first several days.  Between those releases of emotion, she was everything from calm to giggly.  And every moment of it was hers to be in.  I found myself pulling out my own childhood memories and emotions to relive them and heal what couldn't before.  (see below for a guided exercise in doing this)

Last Thursday my daughter decided that it was time to end the intense mourning and reset her energy.  We sat at her alter and smudged each other with sage, we rattled and drummed over each other, and she filled a stone with her love for her friend.  This stone is on her alter and I have seen her hold it and talk to it when she feels the need. I asked her how she felt after her ceremony, she simply replied "sad, but happy."  Wow, she is doing so organically what I, as an adult, have to try really hard to do.  I give great intention to allow myself to be where I am emotionally, and at the same time reach for an emotion that will motivate myself out of a dark or heavy space.  And here she is, doing it naturally and powerfully.  I am realizing this is another effect of that reset button...I thought I was to be teaching my daughter, and now she is teaching me!  She is showing me how to be more of who I am.  Because she is all that she is.  Reset button between us to an equality of teaching relationship between us. Reset button within to be what is and what is chosen as a cocktail of emotions.

All in all, I am honored to be her mother.

Now, I'm reviewing the last couple of weeks and sitting in the observations of contrasts, observations of the teachings, and the observations of quick healing when left to your inner truth.  So I'd like to offer a ripple effect to this healing for anyone who wants it.

Ask yourself the following: what memory, emotion, or belief comes up for you regarding an emotion that you weren't allowed to safely, authentically feel?  Now, see this this as a bundle of life energy that is outside of you and is relying on you to give it a safe space to be in it's process.  Give this energy permission and a circle of safety to be, feel, and move through it's emotion in a wild and true way.  What happens?  What does it say?  Does it engage in movement?  If so, what does it do?  Remain in support of this piece of you as it is allowed to be what it wasn't allowed to be before.

Once it has completed this process and returns to a peaceful state, you may invite it back into your being to radiate through you with healing and appreciation.  Or it may want to return "home" if it wasn't yours to begin with.  Take several breaths into that feeling of expansion and let it absorb into your muscles and bones.  Now, hit the reset button and go forward with more of yourself.

You can check out my website at for more information on healing services I offer, and upcoming events.  Many blessings to you!

Where Is Your Wild?

I have just returned from our annual Spring trip in Eastern Oregon. (where I grew up)  For me, this trip was experienced through a deeper awareness.  I absorbed so much more than I usually take in.  The usual excitement of being in the open country was still there, but this trip had more than excitement, there was an element of belonging to the open country.  The usual expansion of my soul was still there, with the addition of owning the expansion down to my core and throughout my entire BEing.  I wore this expansion as if it were a new body, a new aura.  The usual release of my mundane life was still there, with a liberation of  the roots pulled up and not just the tops weed-wacked.  

The red-tailed hawks that nest on my family's property were vying for my attention as they circled me from above.   Their calls of freedom and higher vision tickled my senses when the sound shot through my ears; lifting me up to fly among them.  The cottontail rabbit that lost it's life has been given new purpose in the fur being made into sacred items.  An intimate and wholistic example of the cycle of, death, rebirth.

The recently flooded rivers and creeks growled with the power of cleansing and transformation of their banks. Reminding me that cleansing and transformation is meant to move things around, to uproot old decayed trees (thought forms, etc), and to sweep away the foundation for new things to grow.  The lessons of the river didn't stop there.  Normally you can't see the river from the country road, but with the flood levels as they were, I had many moments of connecting to the rushing river from the dirt roads of our property.  And the message was clear; you cannot predict or control when or how strong the flow of cleansing and transformation takes place. It happens in a flash and you will experience an ease to your inner current shift if you just let it take you where the waters are calm.  From there you will begin again...rebirthed into a new environment, full of possibilities that you create.  

Being that is was the end of May/beginning of June, I was anxious to explore the awakened Earth with it's sprinkles of wild flower colors, it's vibrating pulse of full life in the burgeoning plants.  Yet, in Grant County, homes were still billowing the smoke from a warm fire. The Earth was still curled up in it's quilt of introspection, and the pulse I felt was more of a heartbeat.  Steady and waiting.  The weather lent an unpredictable and unforgiving rant against being told how to behave.  And I found myself flowing from tank top to parka several times a day.  All the while, hearing complaints from others, I decided to have my own conversation with my Self around these rebellions of nature.  This conversation began with the observations mentioned above and circulated into the surrender and allowing of the WILD.  The wild of nature that we witness, and being willing to flow with it's mood without resistance, bitterness, or labeling of it good or bad.  The wild of our inner wildish nature, and being willing to accept awareness of it, to not fear it, and to explore the many climates it has to offer.  The wild aspect of your being is just as unpredictable as a rebellious season, just as cleansing and transformative as a recently flooded river, just as uplifting as a hawk's perspective, and just as steady and patient as the Earth that is in the center of it all.  And it all leads to healing.

I have spent many years exploring the wildish nature of the soul, and I am still in humble gratitude that the lessons of the wild keep unfolding in new ways.  I am still in awe of the endless healing that the wild models for us every day, can you remember a time when you felt it?   In this writing I have shared an intimate moment of where my wild is.  Where is yours?

I challenge you to do, think, or feel something wild once a day....once a week even!  Find your wild... growl, fly, nest, and run free!

The Many Faces of Me


For years (in many years far, far away) I struggled with wanting to be seen the same way by everyone.  A single version of myself, so to speak.  I remember feeling so stressed and nervous to attend group functions because I was afraid that someone that knew me one on one would see me differently in that group setting.  And they would.  I wasn't the same person in a group as I am on an individual basis.  And  neither is anyone else.  However, the anxiety still gripped me, and I found myself not engaging fully into the experience.  Which led to not really having fun and just going because I should.   Now, who wants to live like that? 

A few years ago I was reading Women who run with the Wolves and this book had me deeply looking at my core, and how I live in the world.  A spontaneous expression of poetry spewed out before me in my journal.  It was an unconscious stream of heart and vision. It reads:

The many faces of me

When I look into the mirror of my soul, what is it I see?

The many faces of me.

I'm raw, refined, wild, and kind.

I'm dark and deep, hate it when I weep.

Giving birth to my inner pain contorts a face,

yet another glows with love and grace.

One is unappreciated, tired.

Another, glamorous and wired.

The "me" inside is all of these and more.

I own them, love them, 

and if you will, see beyond the face you see.

Into the many faces of me.

When this altered writing was over, I remember thinking "huh, what a cool concept. I can't believe this came out of my spirit".  It then remained hidden in my journal.  

Fast forward another few years, and several journal books later.  I was in a journey mediation and doing some reflective clearing of my Self the other day.  This poem and the healing of it hit me as I relished in the progress of my path.  I realized how much I've acclimated my many faces with welcome and freedom because I am so much more connected to my true Self.  And from the space of true Self, you can be where you are in each moment without excuse or justification.  Feel it, be it, and keep looking forward.  

Each face of myself is an essential member of the collective of who I am.  I see now that my true Self is calmly in the center of my core.  All my possible faces are available to use in any given situation.  With awareness and intention, I am who I am with the face that I need; creating each moment, each opportunity by employing the face that best fits the situation. 

No longer hiding or holding back.  Embracing each moment.

May this inspire or ignite thought.

Well, Hello Shadow!


Yes, that's right, the Shadow.  Movies, TV, and stories have depicted this aspect as the part of us that does all the "bad" stuff.  It does all our dirty work that we would normally be ashamed to admit to doing.  From this usage, we not only suffocate this aspect, but we split off from ourselves by separating the Self from the Shadow. From where I stand, the more we cloak our shadow in darkness, the more we feed into its potential toxicity.  I see that when our Shadow feeds off of denial, secrecy, self deprecating thoughts, etc. it has the energy to turn into the creepy saboteur that keeps us in negative patterns, and it has the energy to become the wall separating us from our true Self.  The Self that is whole and balance, with light and dark.

However, if we let it come out for some fresh air, and have a chat with it, feed it our light and our time; it will have the energy to work with us toward healing and self-awareness. Plus, we might just learn something.  I believe and have experienced that our Shadow acts as a holding tank for the things we don't want to deal with, or the things we can't deal with at the time, or the ideas we put off, and a myriad of other subconscious machines.  And just because we shove them there with our denial and hide our Shadow with our guilt, doesn't make all these things go away. So, if we call to our Shadow, have a chat, we might hear another perspective to facilitate change, or solve a problem.  The Shadow could be warning us of a path not in alignment with our highest good.  Since our Shadow is familiar with the depths of the Self, it is an untapped resource to strengthen intuition.  My Shadow helps me "look in the mirror" to see clearly denial, walls, patterns that hold me back, etc.  My Shadow supports, encourages, and holds a safety net for me to navigate through these tough-to-look-at truths so that I may intentionally choose healing or movement forward. I believe that this can be true for anyone willing to work with their shadow.

Here's some helpful tips:

  • Sit quietly and let your body relax.  Bring focus to your breath and let the mind fall asleep.  Send your awareness to the still space between the breathes, where you can open the door to your soul.  Ask to meet your shadow Self.  And simply introduce yourself, and your intention to begin a working relationship with it.  Then let the conversation or visions unfold from there.  Release any grip of judgment or analytical resistance.
  • If you feel a wave of anxiety, self destructive thoughts, or depression enter your reality, allow yourself to see this wave as a code or signal from your Shadow.  What is it trying to tell you, what could you be doing differently, how could you be thinking differently?  Let the answers flow as wisdom and adjust your perspective accordingly.
  • If waking from a nightmare; sink into the realm of the Shadow as it is within you.  Was there a message in that nightmare or disturbing dream?  From the Shadow's eyes, what do you see differently about the dream?

You can also find your own way to connect with your Shadow.  The map is within you, just take the time to pull it out and start the journey.  Your Shadow is waiting to meet you, and can't wait to begin a partnership in creating a whole, balanced, wise true Self.

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The Other Side of Fear


There is a newly popular phrase about fear.  "Feel the fear and do it anyway".  I believe there is a book published with this title recently and I love the concept.  In fact, I always have. When my daughter was a wee thing and starting to recognize the world as a big scary place, I formulated the mantra "it's okay to be scared, but it's not okay to be a coward".  This mantra gave her that extra umph to move through things that were new and uncomfortable.  I have applied this mantra to my adult life many times since it was birthed from my mouth with powerful progress of inner strength and growth. Today I was working on some "homework" for my continuing education in Shamanic Healing. I was observing my feelings around my intention for the class when I recognized fear having a voice.  I began writing about the feeling of the fear, and listening to what the fear had to say.  And insight began to unfold in written words before me.

This fear is a normal, natural response to the unknown, the unknown being "who will I be on the other side of this healing and growth that the fear is reacting to".  I need to be embracing this emotion of fear as it emerges right now, but to also see through the foggy space of my journey before me to see an in-progress version of my future Self.  And from this side, send forward a vision who and what I want to be at the end of this unknown span of space. I will then be creating with intention more of who I am, and not compromise with what I'm given later on.

When these words wrote themselves, I felt a weight lift.  I am standing on the start line of a journey to grow, and sending ahead how I want my life to look when I get there.  This will create a beacon for me to follow along the healing process, and create a familiarity to notice the new Self I will walking into.  I notice a hope in my fear that wasn't there before this insight.  So, now I cross the start line with my fear, my hope, and a creation of my future BEing.